Читать книгу People Follow People - Sam Cawthorn - Страница 34

There came a time in my business when I realised that I wasn't learning from my failures as much as I should. That had a lot to do with my own arrogance and ego.

They say you can learn the easy way, the hard way or the tragic way. Learning the easy way, you learn from other people's mistakes. Learning the hard way, you learn from your own mistakes. But make sure you never choose the tragic way, which is when you don't learn from either. This is where I found myself when I started out in business as a speaker: I was failing but I wasn't necessarily learning from my mistakes; instead, I found myself failing again and again. That was when I realised how much I need people in my corner to keep me accountable.

I had to wake up to myself and say, ‘Wait a second, I need people who are going to be there for me, to tell me the things I may not want to hear, but that I need to hear.’ When I came to this recognition, I started to draw on my humility in order to become the person I knew I should be.

Finding that humility was not easy. I was a successful performer by that time, speaking to huge audiences around the world. I'd be a fool to imagine that I would remain unaffected by the ego and arrogance that so often follows success, unless I was aware of them and did something about them.

Never forget: confidence is a great asset, but arrogance can pull you down.

Yet there I was. Stepping off the stage after my speaking engagements, I would find people lining up to tell me how good I was, to get a photo with me, to ask for my autograph, to tell me that I'd changed their life, that I'd inspired them. Hearing that day in, day out, month in, month out, year in, year out — of course it affected me.

This is an issue for many people in positions of influence and leadership. You can be put on a pedestal. On social media people tell you ‘you're amazing, awesome, inspiring’. Blah, blah, blah. Then you get one comment that says, ‘You're ugly.’

That one comment breaks through, leaving you feeling stressed or anxious, and if such comments gain momentum you may find yourself descending into depression. All because one hurtful comment from one negative troll sets off a string of others.

As leaders and influencers, we need to build strong foundations for ourselves, for our business and for our colleagues. There will always be nay-sayers out there, but we have strategies to help us bounce forward from them. After all, if you can't draw the attention of the haters, you're clearly not making a big enough impact in the world.

Building these foundations has certainly helped me. Having people in my corner to tell me the things I need to hear, and not just the things that I want to hear, has kept me grounded.

If you want to grow as a leader, don't try to do it on your own. Reach out to mentors, study the good example of others.

If you have a bad experience, use the benefit of hindsight to make sure you do things differently next time. Trust and loyalty are a solid filter I use as I bring people into my sphere. These are two of the attributes I look for in the people around me, and I make a commitment to return them in kind.