Читать книгу Bad Birthdays: The Truth Behind Your Crappy Sun Sign - Sarah Fu Christensen - Страница 24

PISCES-ARIES CUSP

If you were born between March 19 and March 23, you fall into the Pisces-Aries cusp and can display traits belonging to both signs. You tend to display the stubbornness of the Ram with the lack of planning demonstrated by the Fish, which basically means you adhere fiercely to your “amazing plan” of having no plan at all.

MARCH 21

A March 21st Aries thinks of him- or herself as a role model to others and will take every opportunity to explain the decisions and the thought-process that led them there. They consider themselves a success story that others can live up to, but somehow miss everyone rolling their eyes behind their back every time they break out another “life lesson.”

MARCH 22

Your partner is lucky to be with you, right March 22nd-er? I mean, without being rude or cruel, look at you… and then look at him or her. They won the Love Lotto. Unfortunately, this type of egotism will probably destroy all your relationships. Fortunately, you’re better off without ‘em, right? Really, who needs ‘em? William Shatner, who played Captain Kirk in the famously nerdy Star Trek series, was born on this date and has been married four times. So, truly, if you were born on this date, you should never settle for anyone who doesn’t recognize how incredibly lucky he or she is.

MARCH 23

On March 23, 1755, American Patrick Henry uttered the famous words, “Give me liberty, or give me death,” referring to the British rule of the States. An Aries born on March 23 feels much the same way… the open road or a closed coffin. They have a tendency to make declarative, bold, sweeping statements that may come back to bite his or her bottom.

MARCH 24

Magician Harry Houdini was born on this date in 1874. Houdini was an incredibly creative magician, and a master entertainer. March 24th natives also need to pursue creative careers or they’ll find themselves stifled, bored, and unproductive. Romantically, they tend to take after Houdini, too, and when they tire of a love affair—poof—they simply disappear.

MARCH 25

People born on March 25 are more shy than their Ram brethren, and at social events and family functions they might remain quiet and listen more than they participate. Get a March 25th-er on to a stage, however, and all bets are off. Take famous performers Sir Elton John and Aretha Franklin, for example. They both share this birth date, and while they are understated and underwhelming during one-on-one conversations by many reports, they certainly put on excellent live performances.

MARCH 26

While most Aries rarely know what insecurity means, people born on March 26 live in a perpetual state of terror that they will be found out as frauds. They have always employed the “fake it until you make it” method of self-improvement and have essentially faked themselves into a corner. They often find themselves scrambling to retrace their steps and master essential tasks that they somehow neglected to learn along the way.

MARCH 27

If it seems like people born on March 27th have egos that are completely out of control, you are not crazy. They think that their contribution to the world is truly peerless and they need everyone else to recognize this fact. Two famous divas, Mariah Carey and Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas, were born on this date, and have consistently made headlines with reports of their completely egocentric behavior. While many people find self-affirmations helpful, March 27th natives may need to employ self-disaffirmations to avoid infuriating their friends and family.

MARCH 28

March 28thers change their minds, and jobs, and interests, and hobbies fast. One day they’re into knitting, the next day they’re into sailing. One day they are happy with their job at the bank branch, the next they’re bartending at a local watering hole. Pop sensation Lady Gaga was born on this day, and her wild, unpredictable costume changes are a microcosm of the entire life’s work for most people who share her birth date.

MARCH 29

Rams are ordinarily very strong, both mentally and physically, but people born on March 29th may be too emotionally frail and nervous to display the usual Aries power. They worry constantly about being able to live up to the expectations of others and find themselves unable to sleep and sometimes even have a hard time concentrating at work. Arians won’t enjoy a particularly competitive career for this reason, and might enjoy working as a life coach, though they may scare away clients by honestly confessing what a stressful mess their own life is.

MARCH 30

March 30th natives are not particularly choosy when it comes to life mates. They can make do with almost anyone they get along with, so they’ll most probably end up hitched to the most convenient option. This is not to say they won’t eventually get some loving on the side, and maybe marry multiple times, but as far as long-term commitments go… the easier, the better.

MARCH 31

The famous French philosopher René Descartes was born on March 31. Along with his famous line, “I think; therefore, I am,” Descartes also said, “An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?” This kind of thinking is consistent with that of other Arians born on March 31—they hate haters and their optimism and willpower are often the very things that propel them through life.

APRIL 1

It’s hard to admit that you’re not where you thought you’d be, isn’t it, April 1st-er? You start out full of energy, ecstatically attacking life. You live ferociously, but by the time you look up and take stock of where you are, you haven’t gone nearly as far as you’d hoped.

APRIL 2

Life is no fairy tale for people born on April 2. They struggle with creating meaningful friendships and lasting romances. Hans Christian Andersen, who famously penned the original, ultra-dark stories, now Disney classics, had a tumultuous love life that existed primarily in his imagination. Andersen yearned to connect with love interests that were unattainable, either because they were out of his class—or already married—or because they were men who didn’t reciprocate his affections. The famous womanizer Casanova was also born on this date, in 1725, and famously recorded his inability to settle down with a mate in his autobiography.

APRIL 3

It’s not uncommon for someone born on April 3 to think of him- or herself as a real wild child. They probably engage in some risk-taking behavior, sure, but at the end of the day these rebels are just big, blustering teddy bears. Television and movie star Alec Baldwin is an April 3rd native, as was famous stage and movie actor Marlon Brando.

APRIL 4

April 4th Arians may often describe themselves as Renaissance Men or Women. The truth is… they’re not. They can do one, or maybe two, things well, and just doggie-paddle through all other aspects of life. Their parents likely tried to build up their self-confidence in areas where they lacked skill and this backfired to make them overly proud of their less-than-stellar achievements in some areas.

APRIL 5

People may be initially drawn to the earnestness that April 5th natives have, but this admirable honesty can easily turn into a bullying tendency in their personal relationships. The hurt feelings and bruised bonds they leave in the wake of their open communication can destroy their goals of having a pleasant family life and fruitful career.

APRIL 6

Don’t despair if sometimes you look in the mirror and don’t see a supermodel staring back at yourself. You have a sexual magnetism and a strong artistic sense, and you will naturally succeed at everything you do. Who needs good looks? Not you.

APRIL 7

In the film The Godfather, goings on within a criminal family help to rocket some people to power and destroy the lives of others. People born on April 7 may find that they’re able to succeed only with the help of their friends and family, and if they are alone, they can’t seem to meet any of their goals. Francis Ford Coppola, born on April 7, directed all three movies in The Godfather trilogy—so it may be no coincidence that the films focus on those themes. As a side note, be careful not to cross an Aries born on April 7, or you may wind up with a horse’s head under your sheets.

APRIL 8

Like an appetizer that hasn’t been fully cooked through, people born on April 8 have an ice-cold center. They are completely focused and choose careers where they can be the best; can compete ruthlessly with others in their field to prove without a doubt that they are superior. Their lack of warmth might be troubling to those around them, but they get the job done, and quite often they are able to bring others up with them as they rise to success.

APRIL 9

April 9th natives work very hard to make their dreams come true, and they have total faith that they can and will. They are able to break their dreams into actionable steps, and focus on each of these steps until it is successfully completed. Twilight actress Kristen Stewart was born on this day, and the growth of her career is no accident. Jenna Jameson, American star of such classic adult films as Dirt Merchant and Zombie Strippers, shares this birthday—and Jenna’s really progressed her career “job by job” as well.

APRIL 10

It takes a lot of praise to satisfy someone born on April 10. They need to be noticed and rewarded, and if an employer or spouse can give them this recognition, they will never stop reaching for the metaphorical carrot. April 10th natives are incredibly stubborn, even amongst their fellow Aries kin. They don’t like change and will be hard-pressed to try new methods of accomplishing things, either at home or in the workplace.

APRIL 11

Okay, April 11th-er, tell the truth… how many of your friends have you bagged? Probably quite a few of them, because—in your mind—intimacy is intimacy. When you open yourself up to people you know, you naturally feel very attracted to them and aroused by the closeness. Since history has shown that sleeping with people you consider “just friends” is always a good idea and leads to very healthy relationships… by all means, go ahead and keep it up.

APRIL 12

Intellectually, people born on April 12 stand head and shoulders taller than their Aries peers. High-brow concepts just click with people born on this day. They also were born with a sort of super-power—the ability to identify subtle contradictions in others’ behavior. Basically, they can sniff out bullshit when colleagues or family members serve it up. Sadly, when they call others out on delusions, it can cause major relationship problems.

APRIL 13

Fictional spy James Bond was born on this day in 1953, when Ian Fleming’s first novel Casino Royale hit the shelves. Bond, like others born on April 13, can be cold and calculating in his romances. Arians can view romances with the same logic and cunning as they would see business partnerships. And if they feel like they’ve been double-crossed, they’ll put the relationship on ice. Just like Bond, if their partner puts them in a tight spot, they’ll give them the slip and find another costar for their next adventure.

APRIL 14

If you’ve ever cut your own bangs, you’ll know the dangers associated with getting obsessed with things being even. It starts off with a snip on the left side, and then moves over to a chop on the right side, but the right side then gets a little bit too short, so you have to come back around to the left side again. Et cetera. People born on April 14 tend to do this with their soul-body connection. They focus a little too much on their soul and completely ignore the physical world, then switch back and lose sight of their spiritual side. It may be good advice to seek out professional intervention—a hairdresser for the bangs and a counselor for the spiritual-physical balance.

APRIL 15

The very first McDonald’s restaurant was opened in the United States on this date in 1955. People rejoiced. As history has proven, however, there can be too much of a good thing… and now many people worldwide question the cultural and culinary benefits of a McDonald’s. Similarly, spending too much time with someone born on April 15 can adversely affect your mental health. They are stubborn and argumentative and need to be taken in moderation.

APRIL 16

Charlie Chaplin, the famous star of black-and-white movies and master of physical comedy, was born on April 16. He entertained audiences for decades and, in the usual Aries style, he rose to the top of his field through hard work and by taking control of all aspects of his work. Offscreen, Chaplin had significantly fewer laughs. He married three times and was dragged into a very messy paternity suit. Treating romance lightly will come back to bite people born on April 16. They need to sow their oats carefully and choose their partners with serious consideration, or else they may end up paying out all their money to exes and be forced to live like Chaplin’s most famous character, “The Tramp.”

APRIL 17

Are you particularly clumsy? Many April 17th natives have bruised shins, black-and-blue toenails, and more bumps to the head than they can count. This is primarily because their body and mind are not really in sync. There are some exceptions, however, such as Victoria Beckham, an April 17th-er who has shown the world that she can be at least slightly coordinated in executing her dance moves. We’d need to see her shins (without airbrushing) to know for sure if she’s got the usual clumsiness associated with this birth date.

APRIL 18

Doctor Who? Oh, Doctor Who. The Tenth Doctor in the epic science fiction program was played by David Tennant, an April 18th native. Though Tennant can’t really travel through time (as far as can be told), sometimes people born on April 18 feel as though they are in some kind of time warp. They see their adult life as a strange reincarnation of their parents’ lives, and when they have children this feeling gets even more intense. Egad. Where’s the nearest phone booth??

APRIL 19

People born on this date take their financial well-being very seriously. While many other Arians are able to choose between passion and money, April 19th natives are constantly thinking of the family coffers and scrimping in order to amass a sizeable sum. This can lead to uncomfortable situations with friends at restaurants, where they will find themselves arguing that they oughtn’t have to split the bill for the appetizer evenly because Donna over there had two extra pieces of cheese bread. After a few instances like this, the April 19th native won’t get invited to many restaurant gatherings, so the problem will self-correct eventually.

APRIL 20

This is a very bad birthday because… well… it’s Adolf Hitler’s birthday. So, it’s pretty much one of the worst birthdays you could have, although most of the time the traits of the Arian people don’t come on as strong as they did in Herr Hitler. This terrible day is also marred by one of the first and worst school shootings—the tragedy that took place at the Columbine High School in Colorado. On the positive side, the adorable Woody Allen classic Annie Hall was released in theaters on this day, and the chemical element radium was isolated by Marie Curie. It’s also a day during which people around the world celebrate marijuana and tend to ingest quite a lot of it. So that’s good, too, if you like that sort of thing.

ARIES–TAURUS CUSP

If you were born between April 19 and April 23, your birthday falls on the Aries-Taurus cusp and you could display characteristics of both signs. You are a combination of the Ram and the Bull, and not necessarily in a good way. You push your way into situations that don’t involve you, and try to force your will on everyone else. To lovers and colleagues it sometimes feels like you’re trying to parent them, which is really quite obnoxious of you—really, it is.