Читать книгу Bad Birthdays: The Truth Behind Your Crappy Sun Sign - Sarah Fu Christensen - Страница 26

Tauruses just want to take care of someone. They want to feed and clothe their mate, comfort them and support them. A Taurus is exactly what you want if you’re a newborn baby and the Taurus is your parent. If, however, you are a full-grown adult lookin’ for hot-n-steamy love, a Taurus might come across as a little bit overbearing and maternal. Can you spice up your Taurus? Sure you can. Just like you can add chili powder to a chicken breast, or some sort of savory sauce to your tofu, you can encourage a Taurus to be more spontaneous. Just know that settling down with a Taurus probably means twice-weekly sex in the missionary position with the lights out. In the end, though, seeking out a Taurus is totally the right move if you’re sick of sleeping your way through the club scene. When it’s time to call it quits, go through your little black book and send a flirty text to the least offensive Taurus.

There are things you should know, however, when you get close to that coveted next stage of life with a Taurus. It’s very important to a Taurus that they feel in control all the time. They won’t tolerate mysterious or fishy behavior from their lover, and if they even perceive the possibility of infidelity, their jealous, angry side will surface. There’s nothing more awful to watch than a bullfight, and that’s exactly what you’ll get if you butt heads with a Taurus. The Bull does not give up easily and, more often than not, they won’t even bother to listen attentively to their partner’s side of the argument. They are completely inflexible—debating with one is about as useful as debating with a brick wall.

All Taurus wants is to be nice to you, baby, and make your home a nice place to spend time in together. Why do you have to get so many ideas in that little head of yours to interrupt Taurus’s flow? Truly, if you can just make yourself a quiet little pet and follow Taurus’s instructions, you’re in store for some seriously sappy romance. Get ready for heart-shaped coupons on Valentine’s Day entitling you to some smokin’ sex act (oooh, maybe you can leave the lights on one night if you get a really wild coupon), and thoughtful, expensive holiday gifts. Oh yes, you may get a vacuum cleaner or new underpants, as Tauruses are practical by nature, but look out for an extra little box with something expensive and sentimental waiting on your pillow. Sweet Bull!