Читать книгу Nasty people - Shelley A Dewar - Страница 12

After George, my mother then had a relationship with a man I will refer to as Paul. I want to give you an insight into this man as I know he had a great deal to do with my future feelings toward the male gender. Paul stood around 170 cm, with a solid build and was covered from head to toe in tattoos. He had blue eyes with quite a handsome face I suppose and blonde hair that sat just above his shoulders.

I was eleven at the time and my Mum was just thirty-three and Paul was eight years younger than her, which made him twenty-five. They met at a local hotel where my Mum and a group of friends and myself, frequently attended.

Their relationship started out like any other normal one, with Paul being a typical gentleman with whom you could always have some fun with. At first, my brother and sister and I thought he was really cool but it wasn’t until he moved into our home a few months later, things started to change for the worst.

It became unnerving for us at times because when he was in a good mood he would joke around and was so much fun to be with, but it would only take one little thing to trigger his violent behaviour. It was when our Mum started scoring black eyes and bruises we got really worried, but what could we do? We weren’t in a position to do anything and just had to accept it and live with it; we had no choice. Obviously this is what she wanted, to be beaten! But how could she and why did she put us through this? Did she not realise how it was affecting us by watching her getting beaten shit out of? We just didn’t or couldn’t understand why.

As time went by, I think all of us deep down realised she had no choice but to put up with his shit. This went on for a few more months until one day our prayers were finally answered and what a blessing it was! It couldn't have come sooner.

His stupidity finally got the better of him when he did one too many robberies and was sent to jail for two and a half years. What a relief this was for us kids and especially for our Mum. Even though we were silently overwhelmed with excitement to rid of the bastard, we still had to put on a false pretence by telling him how much he would be missed and how sorry we were that he had to go jail. Like not!

After he was sent away, our lives easily reverted back to the way things were before we met him. We were all so much calmer and happier and not on edge anymore and it felt great! The best thing of all was we didn't have to worry about some lunatic abusing our Mum anymore. We all thought this would eventually end their relationship and hoped and prayed that she could find someone better while he was in there. If she did, he couldn't do a damn thing about it but we were wrong.

While he was in there he would phone us and his suck up to you nice side would come out. It was almost as if we had forgotten about all the bad times he had put us through.

Boy he had us all fooled!

This went on for the entire time he was in there and funnily enough when we heard he was going to be released, we were all very excited to see him again because we actually thought things would be different this time around. We thought, “Maybe he had calmed down and would not be as aggressive as he was before.” Wrong! To our dismay and ignorance, things would revert to the way they were before he was imprisoned; only ten times worse! Here we go again.

The day he was released my Mum had come to pick me up from my job in Subiaco and when I opened the car door I couldn’t believe what I saw. You guessed it, she had a black eye! I shook my head in disbelief and I asked her what the hell is going on? She told me Paul had punched her because my younger sister Amy refused to say hello to him when he walked in the door. I said, "You got a black eye because of that!"

My God! The man had only been home an hour and already he was already showing signs of his past violent behaviour.

Many times when they would argue, I would go into my bedroom and stare into the mirror at myself and cry, asking God, “Is this going to be my future and will I, keep having to witness my mother being constantly beaten and abused night after night?” I persisted to pray, “God please stop this, we can’t keep living our lives in fear of this coward and it’s certainly not the way we want to live. We all want out but it seems we don’t have a choice.” Every time after my little chats with the guy upstairs, I always felt better even though sometimes I felt he wasn’t listening.

As time went by, the same shit went on and on but then one day I asked my Mum why she stayed with him.

Whilst trying to hold back the tears, she told me he had threatened to kill her if she ever left him. Right then it helped me to realise why she couldn’t rid of him. She didn’t have a choice because she was so frightened and what he might do to her or even us. I never questioned her again and had to trust that my prayers would be answered one day.

Paul, believe it or not, began working soon after his release at a furniture factory and everything between Mum and him seemed to be going smoothly for once. Gee he actually had a job! Feeling guilty areshole? Even so, he appeared to be a lot happier because he was working and contributing towards expenses but then he started gambling for no reason. Why? Obviously he found this was an easier way to try and make money rather than working. None of us knew but his job was now starting to take second place due to his gambling addiction and finally he was fired because he wasn’t going to work. So now unbeknown to us, all he wanted to do was to stay home all day and every day and sit on his fat lazy arse and gamble on anything that moved. We never thought much of it because we only thought he was gambling in the afternoons because that’s the only time we saw him doing it. Like hello? We were at school all day so we wouldn’t or didn’t know this was going on. We just thought during the day he was out looking for another job and until he found one, what he was doing, was just harmless fun. But how could he get another job if he never looked for one? Did Mum know that he wasn’t looking for a job? Did she know he sat around and gambled all day? Obviously she didn’t! None of us did until:

One afternoon when Mum left for work, he couldn't get out of the house quick enough and race down to the local betting shop. When he came back he asked us not to say anything to her when she got home and we assured him we wouldn't and didn’t. But I don’t think any of us realised how serious it was at the time. At first, we just thought it was a big joke but then money started to get tighter and tighter. My Mum was still working hard through the day and going to another job in the evenings but what she earned was still not enough to survive when it should have been. Why wasn’t it? Something wasn’t right! What we kids didn't know but soon found out that she was giving him money every day on top of trying to pay the bills. He was making excuses that he needed money for cigarettes and to get to and from job interviews. What a pile of shit! It was to feed his addiction and she never knew a damn thing. The penny dropped. He obviously wasn’t telling her and that’s why he told us to keep quiet about it in the first place.

Even though mum kept working long hours, it was getting worse and worse. The bills were piling up and you could see mum was getting stressed. Eventually we got our stereo system repossessed and you know what? We only had one payment left to go but they didn't care and took it anyway. We kids were devastated, because the one thing we loved to do was to listen to music for many hours of the day in our free time. We became pissed off after a while and I think Paul must have realised then, we were starting to blame him for this. The looks of resentment on our faces were obviously playing on his mind. He knew he was responsible for our financial situation even though he would never admit it but still he chose to do nothing about it, thinking it would all blow over. Well it didn’t because we kids kept on whinging day after day because we had no music to listen to. Wrong! We should have known him well enough to know he didn’t like people thinking badly of him and by us whining he was getting pissed off because maybe he thought we hated him now. We should have just shut our mouths and accepted it but kids are kids. He now obviously felt rejected by us and because of this in turn, he took his own disappointment and turned it into anger and took it out on someone else, that being my Mum. By now the beatings were becoming more and more frequent. My Mum was enduring so much pain at the hands of this mongrel bastard and at times, I didn’t know what to do. What could I do? I was no match for him. None of us were. As usual, when this was happening, I would just run to my room crying and praying for it to stop, but it never did.

Other times I tried in my own way to protect my Mum by yelling at him to stop and to leave her alone but it made no difference, he would just yell at me to shut up. When it did eventually stop, he would always be sorry for what had happened as is typical of these perpetrators, until the next time. The phoney apologies and promises that it would never happen again, never sat well with us only because it never did stop. It was now a routine.

One night when I was about fourteen, I had my best friend Gale over to stay. Typical, Mum and Paul had had a huge fight in which led mum to escape the house and take off somewhere. This frustrated and angered him even more, so the ranting and raving continued. Gale and I were so scared we didn’t know what to do other than to stay away from him while he was like this, so we went to my room and stayed there. About twenty minutes later the house eventually became quiet. Obviously he had calmed himself down so we decided it was time for bed.

It was around 3am the next morning when we heard this bashing on my door so I got up and opened it. It was him standing there with a crazy look on his face mumbling some shit. I asked him what he wanted and he told me that he wanted us girls to help him find my Mum. What could we say? We were in no position to argue with this lunatic so we said, “Okay, we will be out as soon as we get dressed.” When we came out, he bailed Gale and me up in the hallway passage with this strange looking knife in his hand and telling us that he was going to kill my mother when he found her.

Gale and I looked at each-other in disbelief and thought, “What the fuck, how do we get out of this one?” My God! We just couldn’t believe the situation we were in. Here we were being forced against our wills to go try and find my Mum so this bastard could kill her! We knew we had no choice other than to do what he wanted. We had to because at the time we were afraid if we didn’t do what he asked, he would probably stab us to death first. That’s how crazy he was.

He then ordered us to get in the car and whilst he drove around the neighbour-hood, we were to look out for her. He even told us to take him to the places where she may be hiding; friends’ places etc.

We were so afraid that if we did see her somewhere, what would happen? Would he go crazy and kill her right in front of us?

Gale and I then whispered to each-other that we would have to bullshit as to where she could be, knowing damn well, she wouldn’t be in those places. This way we could waste time and hoped that maybe he would start getting tired and to go back home. Gale and I also knew that if Mum was walking, she would be looking out for him and the car and would hide somewhere so we were fairly confident we wouldn’t spot her anywhere. We drove around for about an hour and she was nowhere to be seen and we were trying to act really tired by yawning and maybe us doing this, helped. He was also getting tired thank God so we went back home.

Gale and I were so relieved that we had not found Mum so we then went back to bed and left him to stew. We talked for a bit by both confessing to each other that we were terrified and were now just curious as to where my mum was and hoping she was alright. It wasn’t easy falling asleep for either of us but eventually we did.

That morning about four hours later, I was awakened by something touching my arm. What was it? I was almost too scared to open my eyes but I knew I had to. Whatever it was, wasn’t giving up!

First of all I looked over at Gale but she was still fast asleep so I had to do this on my own. Still half asleep I slowly looked down at my arm and saw this fucking hand feathering my arm with its fingers. Well I certainly woke up in a hurry as it almost frightened the life out of me!

I now realised it was coming from under my bed but whose was it? It’s not every day you wake up with an arm coming up from under your bed. Shitting myself, I slowly dropped my head down the side of the bed and whom did I see? Guess who? Yes it was my Mum who was laying there with her finger on her mouth trying not to laugh gesturing me to be quiet but because I could see she was trying to not laugh, it almost got me going but I knew I couldn’t because I wouldn’t have stopped. There is nothing worse than when you are just about to fall apart laughing but you know you can’t in fear of being killed. It certainly stops you in a hurry. The whole situation just seemed funny to us because of our warped senses of humour so it was very hard for us not to laugh but then when I told her a bit of what happened and what he made us girls do, Mum realised it really wasn’t that funny after all so we had to be quiet in case he heard us. We then went back to sleep for a while but then Mum woke me up about an hour later, this time sitting on the edge of my bed. It was alright for her to sit there because he would never walk in my room without knocking. Gale was now awake too but she just lay there and listened to Mum and me. I told her I was so relieved to see her and that she was alright but I couldn't resist asking her, "Where the fuck have you been all night?"

She told me she had seen the car and had hidden in a garden until we had passed. The rest of the night when the coast was clear, she decided to go and hide in Margaret’s back yard, who was one of my school friends where it would be safer. She knew she couldn’t come home until the coast was clear and our house was quiet. It was just as the sun was coming up and she could see better, she came home and climbed through my window and hid under my bed. One has always been a heavy sleeper so I heard nothing obviously! In doing this she would feel safer, warmer and could rest, even if it was on a hard floor under a bed. I felt so sorry for her having to do this, but at least she was home and not out there on her own.

Gale and I then told Mum more in depth what had happened while she was gone and she couldn't believe someone could do this. Finally she got enough courage to go and talk with him but as she left my room I was in fear for her but I knew she had to face him one way or another. He obviously woke up when he heard her enter the room and he sounded fine as far as we could tell from where we were and that was a relief. We were waiting for him to start abusing her but all we could hear was both of them laughing about what she had done and where she had been. She didn’t dare comment on anything he had made us do just in case it set off a spark of the too well known. He never mentioned anything of what had happened the night before and neither did Gale or I. We didn’t dare in front of him but we will never forget it. That night traumatised us for life!

Another crazy incident happened, when one night I had my friend Margaret over and we were doing what normal friends do, just hanging out in my bedroom chatting. We only stayed in because it was rather cold and pouring with rain so we really had no choice. Everything seemed fine in the house at first, but out of no-where we heard my Mum screaming. Margaret and I immediately stood up and flew out my bedroom door to see what was going on. We were horrified to see Paul had my mother bailed up against the kitchen sink with his hands around her neck, trying to strangle her. The only thing I could do was to scream at the top of my lungs for him to leave her alone.

Then all of a sudden for whatever reason, he decided to let her go. He turned around and stormed straight towards us with this silly dazed look on his face like we were his next target. We both just stood there stiff not saying a word and thinking the worst. I thought we were goners but to our dismay, he stormed straight past us cursing and swearing and disappeared to another part of the house. This was when my Mum ran toward us and whispered to get in the car as fast as we could go.

We quickly scrambled our things together, raced outside in the pouring rain and jumped in the car as quickly as we could, locking the doors. Mum making sure the coast was clear to leave and followed about a minute later.

When she got in the car and because she panicked the door had not closed properly but it was still enough for her to put the lock down and hold it secure. Just then we saw the front door of the house fly open; almost to the point it was coming off the hinges. Oh my God, Panic! It was Paul!

He stormed towards us yelling and cursing for us to get out of the car but we knew if we did what the consequences would be. Margaret and I yelled at Mum to hurry up and start the car so we could get out of there but as she was trying to put the key in the ignition he by now had reached the door of the car cursing and swearing trying to yank it open but he couldn’t. Even though it wasn’t closed properly, having the lock down was enough to secure it and it only rattled but it was still enough to make Mum and us panic because we knew he could have quite easily smashed the window if he wanted to. Because he couldn’t open the door he was getting angrier and this was making Mum’s hands shake even more which was making it difficult for her turning the ignition but eventually she got her act together and started it. Her still shaky hands managed to get the gears in reverse and as she was reversing, he was still yanking at the handle as hard as he could and moving with the car cursing at the top of his lungs like a mad man. He was now out of control and I thought, “My God, he is going to rip the door off any minute if we don’t get out of here.”

I yelled at my Mum to plant it and as she put her foot down and accelerated harder, for some reason he just disappeared. Where did he go? We did feel a bump! Oops!

It wasn't until we pulled out of the drive that we saw him standing there doubled over and holding one of his hands with the other. He looked as though he was in complete pain but it still didn’t stop him yelling at us to come back. It then occurred to us what had happened. Because it was raining so heavily he had slipped down by the car and we ran over one of his hands. Just before we drove off we sat there just looking at him and because we knew he couldn't do anything, to annoy him even more; we then glared at him and started laughing as loud as we could.

Mum then took off down the street as fast as she could go almost giving us whiplash. Mum looks back on it now and wishes it were his head instead of just his hand. Never mind, maybe next time! Don’t you just love Karma!

One other time and I don’t remember the details fully as to why he attacked my Mum this day but when they were on the front porch of the house, he had punched her to the ground and began kicking her in the head like she was a dog. This time she was so severely beaten she had to be hospitalized.

Even though she survived this, she had problems with pressure build up in her eyes because of nerve damage which destroyed a lot of her vision but through treatment of late, she now sees better than me, which is great!

There were many other instances that happened along the way as you can imagine but these incidents was just to give you an idea of the type of man we were dealing with and how it affected me.

The last straw came when Mum told me that Paul (who was standing next to her at the time) wanted her, me and my younger sister to go and live with him in a flat. I asked why? Mum told me that Paul never felt like it was his home and that if we moved somewhere together then it would be theirs. I looked at the both of them and told them I didn’t want to go. This didn’t go down too well I can tell you. There was no question as to why I didn’t want to go and out of nowhere he just started on me, telling me I had to go but again, I flatly refused. He then started yelling at me but I wasn’t going to back down this time and I was standing my ground for once. I yelled back and told him I wasn’t going to live with him because he would have more control and it would be like living in a prison. He just stared at me so I just stared back at him. I’d had enough of his intimidation and I wasn’t about to give in and he knew it too and by the look on his face, he didn’t like at all. He almost looked like he was ready to explode but what happened next, I was expecting. Instead, he walked up to me, looked me in the eyes and then spat in my face like I was some dog. I just looked at him with disbelief and contempt like he was the dog and then started yelling at him. I told him he was nothing but a fucking pig and how he had made me feel degraded and worthless. Mum couldn’t belief what she had just seen either and told him what he just did was uncalled for but he told her he didn’t care. This was the icing on the cake for me so I decided I’d had enough of his intimidation and bullying and I wasn’t going to keep living in fear anymore so I had to do something about it. But what was I to do?

I was so upset I stormed out of the house and went to my best friend’s. This is where I felt safe and could think more clearly. I had to think of what I wanted to do and I eventually came up with a solution.

When I went back home, I spoke to my Mum and explained how I felt and what I wanted to do because I was so unhappy. I had no choice but to leave school and get a job; that being a shop assistant in a deli. She understood and told me she would stand by me in my decisions even though I was only fifteen.

This would keep me out of the house during the day and that meant I wouldn’t have to put up with his crap, or so I thought. It didn’t make much of a difference after all because the times I was home, the crap was still going on. I was so over it and I knew I had to get out of there permanently but what were my options? Where was I going to go? The only choice I had was to ask my sister and her boyfriend if I could move in with them. I told them what was happening at home and how it was affecting me. They were a bit hesitant at first because it was only a one bedroom flat and there wasn’t much room and they also wouldn’t have much privacy. This made me feel bad but I had nowhere else to go so I persisted with my sob story and told them I would try my hardest to not to get in their way. I also told them, I could sleep on the lounge and that anything was better than where I was. They thought about it for a while and eventually gave in. What a relief! This was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I now felt safe.

Meanwhile Paul, along with my Mum and younger sister did move into a flat. My Mum still visited me but I had to distance myself from her as it hurt too much to see her in a situation that she could not get out of. I was also afraid that if I saw her more regularly, she would turn up with a black-eye or something to that effect.

Eventually they moved back into the house and mum asked me to come back home. My sister and her boyfriend were moving to another place so I thought I should go and be with my mum. As soon as they settled back in, I then went back home but for some reason things were different. He seemed to be a lot calmer and happier. Why? Something was going on with him but what? I wanted and needed answers so off I went to my mum to get some.

She told me she had come across some needles in the glove box of the car and that they obviously belonged to Paul, This meant he was a drug addict and this would explain many things. I am still not sure whether she confronted him about this though but I reckon she must have at some point because he seemed to have changed thus: being a lot happier and he even started looking for another job.

It took him a while to finally get one but it was up north somewhere which meant he had to go away for about four days out of the week. This is what he told us any way and at the time we believed him. Good riddance because it meant there would be at least four days peace at home. When he did come home after his four days away, everything seemed fine between him and mum but something was different about him even more so. He was being way too nice and nothing seemed to worry him much anymore. We weren’t used to this so what was going on with him? All we could think of was maybe because he was earning money it made him feel better within himself. Pigs might fly too but maybe, just maybe, he could have also missed us while he was away. Who knows but it was all too weird seeing him like this. We were not used to it. Then to our surprise, out of the blue, he asked my Mum to marry him and would you believe it, she said, “Yes.” My God! What was this woman thinking? She would be trapped forever and us along with it!

I wasn’t sure at the time, but I realise now she was too frightened to say no.

Then about a week later, a strange thing happened. The engagement ring he had bought her had gone mysteriously missing. How could this be? It had only been on her finger for that one week and I know she was always very careful with it and only ever took it off when she showered so where was it? We all searched high and low for it but it was nowhere to be found. This was strange but what was even stranger was, because we couldn’t find it, he was acting so stressed and started vomiting. What the hell? It was only a ring and if anyone was to vomit, you would think it be my mother. Was he putting on an act? This was the question we asked ourselves. But why would he? In a calm and blasé voice he said, “I am sure it will turn up somewhere.” Huh? Why so blasé? Did he take it? If so why?

They say a woman’s intuition kicks in when something just doesn’t seem quite right and my Mums’ did by putting all the pieces together one by one. With him going away and the good moods he was always in when he came back started setting off alarm bells but it was the ring more than anything that got her suspicion’s really going. How could a ring which was so important simply vanish into thin air? But there was something more because he didn’t seem to be too worried about it in the end and this caused Mum to be more concerned than ever. But what was it she was concerned about? Did she have any ideas what was going on with him? Even still, we waited for a couple of days to see if it would turn up somewhere, giving him the benefit of the doubt but something was telling us it wouldn’t.

It never did. Funny that!

After Mum and all us kids talked about it, we could only come up with one solution. He had to be having an affair all this time but what was with the ring? Why would he go to all that trouble of asking Mum to marry him, give her a ring then it goes missing? It didn’t make sense at all and seemed a bit bizarre don’t you think? The main question was, if he was having an affair, who was the woman?

The only person Mum could think of was a woman they had met a couple of months prior who they had become friends with. They would sometimes go to her place and she would come to ours as well so we all got to know her fairly well. Could it be her? We were pretty sure it had to be because we couldn’t think of anyone else and apparently Mum already had suspicions about her before all this anyway. She told us kids she even suspected he was living with her when he was supposedly going away working which would make sense and we told her she could be right. We could have just been grasping at straws but we needed to find out the truth whether he was living a double life one way or another. This meant we had to come up with a plan to catch the cheating bastard out.

My two best friends Gale and Lee and I decided we would do the honours for Mum and go spy on him. We had no choice and we needed to know if he was at this jezebel’s place so Mum would finally know the truth.

We were only fifteen at the time and being rebels that we were, would do anything for a bit of an adventure. At first, Mum thought it would be too risky but we knew we could do it and hounded her until she gave in.

We chose one of the Friday nights when he was supposedly away working which was our opportunity. It was now or never!

Mum and us three girls took off on our secret mission and even though it was a bit scary, it was exciting too! At first, Mum started driving toward the house so we could familiarise ourselves with the area but she realised she couldn’t get too close because her car; being a Vw beetle, was kind of loud and he would have heard it going past. All we could do was to drive past on the highway above overlooking the house and area.

The house was the only one situated down a road off the highway and just about every light was on so you definitely couldn’t miss it and obviously someone was home. Opposite the house was a huge paddock which was a bonus. It meant we had plenty of room to run and escape if needed.

By now it was really dark so hopefully we wouldn’t be seen but the first thing we had to do was to get the car out of sight, so Mum parked in an old shop carpark a bit further up the road.

All four of us were laughing our heads off and giddy with excitement but then the three of us girls decided it was time to set about our mission so it then became a serious matter. Of course we left mum in the car as our getaway driver just in case it turned into a game of chase.

Off we walked down the road, crossed the paddock and then got to the side window of the house. We couldn’t hear much at first but the sound of a television so we knew someone had to be home. A few minutes had gone by when Gale decided she needed to pee as she always did at the most inappropriate times. She normally only ever did this when something was really funny and she couldn’t hold it and most times she would piss her pants because she couldn’t get them down quick enough. I used to deliberately make her laugh so she would. It was entertainment!

To get out of sight, we had to walk back up the road a bit so she could relieve herself before she did piss in her pants and thank God she made it. Ok! She was emptied and we were totally ready this time to go back to the house. We were slowly creeping and crouching, moving toward the window again hoping to hear something or someone in the house besides just the television. We did hear some voices and at first thought it was just the television again but then we realised it was two people talking and it was definitely a man and woman’s voice and our ears pricked. We had to listen really closely to see if we could recognise the male’s voice and bingo! We all confirmed it was Paul's and put our hands together with a high five sisters! What a proud moment it was for all of us, catching this lousy mongrel!

Once we knew it was definitely Paul, we quickly walked across to the paddock opposite the house where it was dark and we were out of sight, so we thought. At first we just stood there whispering to each other about our discovery but then in the distance, the female who was in the house was standing looking out the window. She could obviously see us standing there through some of the light shining from the highway.

We all just said, “Oh Shit!” Then we started nervously gibbering to each other, “What do we do, what do we do?” Then I said in a quick responsive voice, “Drop to the ground and don’t move!” We hit the dirt like we were in a battle field ready to be shot at and didn’t dare move. I know my heart was thumping so I knew Gale and Lee’s would be too but because we were so immature, we were trying not to laugh at the same time because of the situation we were in. We kept looking at her standing at the window looking out at us and hoped she would go away but no such luck, the bitch kept staring out. We whispered to each other and said, “We can’t get up if she keeps staring so what the hell is going to happen next?” We were trying for a solution but our worst nightmare comes true.

We saw a male figure which was obviously Paul’s appear at the window with her and together they were just standing there staring out. They stood there for at least another minute or two but then he disappeared while she stayed at the window. Where did he go or what was he doing? Panic had really set in for us and I reckon we could hear each other’s hearts thumping. This was scary shit!

Next the front door to the house flies open and outside he came to investigate. Oh my God! We just lay there near on shitting ourselves with fear not knowing what to do. We knew he wouldn’t ignore us being there and just had to watch and wait to see what he would do next. We knew it was bad when he walked over to some old scrap heap that was at the front of the house and picked something up that looked like a steel bar which obviously he was going use to hit us with it. He then began walking towards our direction, cursing and mumbling under his breath so we knew he was pretty angry. Step by step he was getting closer to us which meant less distance to escape him and if he did catch us he would probably beat the crap out of us thinking we were up to no good, with no questions asked. But he had to catch us first, right? It was now where the really shitting oneself feeling comes in but it was still strangely exciting and the adrenalin rush was a bit of a buzz to be honest.

Even so, we had to make a decision and a damn quick one at that to get out of there. It was either stay there and be bashed or make a run for it and hope for the best. Run was the option! I then whispered to my friends we have to make a run for it and I mean run for our lives! I told them to get up on my count of three and do not look back until we are up on the highway but try and stick together just in case he catches one of us.

He was now getting even closer and his pace was getting faster so we had no choice but to act so I asked, "Are you ready?" They assured me they were more than ready so I gave them the one two three and with that we got up as fast as we could and ran for dear life. When we did, we heard Paul was hot on our heels swearing and cursing at us which made us run even faster.

When we reached the highway, we were yelling and screaming not to mention waving our arms in all sorts of directions trying to flag someone down to help us, but no-one would stop. Wonder why? I don’t blame anyone as we must have looked like a bunch of lunatics! We then realised the danger was over when he was nowhere to be seen so we stopped running and calmed down. I would say he gave up the chase because we were pretty fast runners back then and Paul being a lazy fat bastard couldn’t run to save his life. He probably passed out on the first sprint.

Once we knew we had definitely lost him, we raced back to Mum’s car and got in as quickly as we could and yelled, "Get out of here, now!" As we were speeding off we were laughing so hard, Gale almost pissed her pants, once again.

I look back on it now and think it was a pretty dangerous situation we had put ourselves in, not to mention, a quite frightening one at that. It may not have turned out the way it did and anything could have happened if he had caught us. I think we had some angels looking out for us that night. I guess when you’re young, you don’t realise the consequences and the real dangers, thinking you’re pretty invincible and it’s all a big joke. I’m just thankful it didn’t backfire on us!

After that night, the wanker would still come home from his so-called job and so-called days off and carry on as if nothing had changed. He was being even nicer than before but now we knew why and we were on to him. It was becoming sickening and to be honest, funny to watch. We think he must have been guilt ridden but he still didn't realise we knew about his affair and that we had one up on him and he was making an absolute dick of himself trying to suck up to all of us. It was just a matter of time before we rid of him. None of us could wait!

I remember the final straw between my Mum and Paul and it was a blessing in disguise I guess however; not a very pleasant memory for me.

While Mum was sleeping one night, he asked me if I would like to go for a drive to keep him company while he spied on some place he was going to burgle. I had nothing else to do so I agreed and went with him. While we were sitting in the car talking, he leaned over and kissed me and for some reason I let him. Why? I have no idea why! I then thought, “This man is supposed to be my mother’s boyfriend and protect us, not molest us. What the hell was I thinking to let him do this? Or more so, what was he thinking?” I felt disgusted and immediately told him to stop pushing him away at the same time. Later on I realised why I let him do what he did. He was the only one in my life at the time who was like a father figure. Fuck knows why I felt that way because he was nothing like my father! I loved my father but just never saw enough of him and I missed him and this hurt. I obviously needed that male attention I didn’t get from my own Dad in which I craved. The next day I told my Mum what happened and because she was so angry and disgusted, she had no choice but to approach Paul and tell him that he had to leave. My understanding is, she told him that no man ever touches any one of her children and I don’t care what you do to me, and I want you out! I think any excuse was welcomed by him to leave so he could be with this other woman because there were no arguments about it and he just agreed with her and said, "No problem, I will go."

We were actually amazed as to how easy it was for him to leave and thought he would kick up a big fuss about it, but nothing. It was obviously what he wanted to hear so he could go and finally be with his floozy. God help her and good luck is what we all thought! He eventually confessed he was having an affair and that he was sorry. Like hello? We weren’t! Good riddance!

It was the best thing that ever happened and to be rid of the mongrel forever, was the biggest relief. Mum and he stayed in contact for a little after that but only as friends and could talk about things that went down because it didn’t matter anymore. They even talked about how and when she found out he was cheating. He apparently felt guilty about that and how he had treated my Mum over time. Thank God he never found out about us three spying on him, until he left. He told my Mum, he thought it was three young teenage boys but when she told him the truth, he was rather amused and never thought anything more of it.

It took a while for us to get back to normal and even though he left scars, we had no choice but to try and forget him and get on with our lives. I will tell you though it has been throughout the years especially hard for me, because I saw most of the abuse.

Two years had passed since we rid of him and I was now seventeen and just when we thought our lives were getting back on track, the bastard had the audacity to turn up on our doorstep and we thought the worst. What was he doing here and what did he want? We just hoped he wasn’t going to try and come back but he wasn’t thank God. He had apparently come to pay his respects and give condolences to my older sister who had just lost her boyfriend Larry of five years to a motorcycle accident. Larry was loved and respected by the entire family and I personally, loved him like a brother. The only thing we all thought Paul was, was a hypocrite because him and Larry never got along with each other and it was just an excuse to come and have a sticky and to try and show he cared. I’m sure we all thought the same thing and that was, “Fuck off and don’t show your face again!” We never did see him again after that night. Hopefully he got the vibes and the bad ones at that!

Personally, if I ever do run his path, I will tell him exactly how I feel about him and how he affected my family and me. After being angry for so many years after he left, I have learned to forgive him through my faith in God. He or she has shown me how to not judge those who have a no idea that they are hurting others through their own pain and suffering. I was one of these people who hurt others because of my own pain, but now I have compassion for them as I do myself when I do wrong. I have forgiven myself for a lot of things because I thought I was doing the right things at the time. I'm not saying I'm an angel but I find I am free from a lot of my past anger and have a more of a positive attitude to life than I could before.