Читать книгу The Interpersonal Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 104

The self is flexible and changeable. In a constant transitional state, it has the capacity to adapt to changing circumstances and conditions. By asking yourself, “Who am I now?” instead of “Who am I always?” you will be able to take picture after picture of a changing you, someone who opens him- or herself to the possibilities that today and tomorrow offer. As a Xerox executive said in a speech aptly titled “Butterflies, Not Pigeonholes”:

In a knowledge-driven economy, self-confidence means a willingness to champion new ideas and the resilience to roll with the punches when ideas turn out to be better in the abstract than in reality. Plus, self-confidence provides the persistence to try again from another angle. Self-confidence enables an individual to withstand the criticism of colleagues, to live with the fact that not everyone will like everyone else.

And it gives one the ability to listen to others, to work as part of a team, to be willing to let others share the load . . . and the spotlight, confident that one’s contribution to the success of the whole will be recognized.

In short, self-confidence enables people to feel comfortable outside the pigeonholes, to contribute in an ever-changing environment. Without it, the most gifted individual can toil in the shadows, their gifts never fully realized.⁶⁷

Isn’t it better to picture yourself as a butterfly, free, than stuck in a pigeonhole?

Connect the Case: The Case of Aisha’s Term Paper

“I’ll never be able to pass this course,” Aisha moaned to herself as she sat at Starbucks staring at her laptop with her text opened beside her. “I’ve been trying to write this paper all weekend, and I’m still on the first page.” She sighed deeply and then rose to get another cup of coffee.

As Aisha sipped her coffee, she began to thumb through the Sunday paper. She stopped to read an article about the Efficacy Institute, a school that provides students with instruction on self-concept. The article noted that studies on “efficacy” suggest that any person can succeed if he or she is motivated and works hard. Efficacy programs help students believe in themselves by repeatedly delivering messages such as “Work hard!” “Think you can!” “Believe in yourself!”

Aisha began to think about her own situation. She had dropped out of college years earlier and had only recently reenrolled. Now she found herself stuck in the same old trap—she didn’t think she could do the work. Aisha wondered—should she also enroll at the Efficacy Institute? Aisha remembered how bad she had felt after dropping out of college, and now she was experiencing those same feelings of failure—all because of this paper. Then she had a brainstorm. She typed the following lines on her laptop and posted them on her Facebook wall: