Читать книгу The Interpersonal Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 95

If you awoke one day to discover that you had changed into a member of the opposite sex, how would that affect you? In what ways, if any, would this alteration change your plans for the day? The week? The month? The year? What impact would it have on the rest of your life?

As we noted in Chapter 1, sex refers to the biological characteristics that define men and women. Gender, in contrast, refers to the socially constructed roles and behaviors that the members of a given society believe appropriate for men and women. Thus, gender is a variable that influences how others treat us and how we treat them because of our sex. Our gender becomes integrated into our self-concept, providing us with a gender identity, that is, an inner sense of being male or female. The experiences we have during our formative years influence our views of masculinity and femininity, affecting our identities in later years. As we internalize the attributes of maleness and femaleness, what we have come to believe about our gender affects the way we conceive of our self. Transgender activist Chaz Bono has been quoted as saying, “I believe gender is between your ears, not between your legs.”

Men and women are likely to see and describe themselves differently. Men generally characterize themselves as possessing initiative, control, and ambition. In contrast, women see themselves as sensitive, concerned for others, and considerate. While appearance plays a major role in the self-image of women, until recently, it was not considered integral to the self-image of a man.⁴⁹ Young women are still teased about both their looks and their weight more often than are young men, but the macho male, muscular and fit, is making a comeback, placing pressure on men to “bulk up” or be thought of as unmanly.⁵⁰

Unfortunately, in our society, social and cultural expectations cause women to be vulnerable to damage to their self-concepts, in part because of the many conflicting and confused messages they receive.⁵¹ Our society expects those who are feminine to be nurturing, unassertive, sensitive, caring, deferential, and emotional. As a result of such expectations, society rewards young women for a pleasing appearance, revealing their feelings, being forgiving, and being nice or helpful to others. In contrast, our society expects men to be strong, ambitious, in control of their emotions, and successful; unlike women, men are rewarded for displaying these qualities and achieving results.⁵²

Of significance is the finding that our society values male characteristics more highly than female characteristics. Thus, men typically feel better about themselves than do women. The upshot is that many women try to attain success by attempting to be it all and do it all. The comedian Carol Leifer perhaps put it best in her act when she said, “I just had a baby an hour ago and I’m back at work already. While I was delivering, I took a course in tax-shelter options.” Of course, the “me too.” movement has provided women with role models and a movement within which to combat unhealthy gender stereotypes particularly when it comes to sexual harassment.