Читать книгу The Interpersonal Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 76

When self-esteem is not connected to personal performance, it can be self-defeating. Feeling good about yourself when you have no reason to—that is, when you have not added to your achievements or competencies—can lead to your developing a favorable self-appraisal that will not be matched by others’ views of you. Thus, when we talk about the importance of developing self-esteem, we are not talking about simple cheerleading. Rather, we are talking about opening yourself to opportunities that will help you develop your skills and abilities to their fullest potential.⁸

Belief in yourself shapes what is possible for you.

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And here’s a note of caution: Research reveals that individuals with high self-esteem may pose more of a threat to others than people with low self-esteem.⁹ In fact, research indicates that overemphasizing the importance of self-esteem in those who possess an unrealistically inflated self-appraisal can precipitate a culture of bullying. These findings have led some to argue for balance in the amount of praise given, to prevent inflated perceptions of self-importance in already self-centered individuals.¹⁰ Researchers advise that instead of fostering self-esteem, we should be fostering resilience, because resilience helps people recover from personal disappointments and defeats.¹¹ By learning to cope with personal setbacks, we may help optimize our behavior.