Читать книгу 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do - Amy Morin, Amy Morin - Страница 23

Steven McDonald is an incredible example of someone who chose not to give away his power. While working as a New York City police officer in 1986, Officer McDonald stopped to question some teenagers about some recent bicycle thefts. One of the fifteen-year-olds in question took out a gun and shot Officer McDonald in the head and neck. The shots paralyzed him from the neck down.

Miraculously, Officer McDonald survived. He spent eighteen months in the hospital recuperating and learning how to live as a quadriplegic. At the time of the accident, he’d only been married eight months, and his wife was six months pregnant.

Remarkably, Officer McDonald and his wife chose not to focus on all that had been taken away from them by this teenage boy. Instead, they made a conscious choice to forgive him. In fact, a few years after his injury, the officer’s assailant called him from jail to apologize. Officer McDonald not only accepted his apology, but he also told him that he hoped someday they could travel the country together sharing their story with the hope they could prevent other acts of violence. Officer McDonald never got the chance to do that, however, because three days after his assailant was released from prison, the young man was killed in a motorcycle accident.

So Officer McDonald set out on his mission to spread his message about peace and forgiveness on his own. “The only thing worse than a bullet in my spine would have been to nurture revenge in my heart,” he says in the book Why Forgive? He may have lost his physical mobility in that attack, but he didn’t give that violent incident or his assailant the power to ruin his life. He’s now a highly sought after speaker who teaches love, respect, and forgiveness. Officer McDonald is an inspirational example of someone who, despite being the victim of a senseless act of violence, chose not to waste time giving his assailant more power.

Choosing to forgive someone who has hurt you, either emotionally or physically, doesn’t mean you have to excuse the other person’s behavior, but letting go of your anger frees you to focus your energy on a more worthwhile cause.

If you’ve spent most of your life feeling like a victim of your circumstances, it takes hard work to recognize that you have the power to choose your own path in life. The first step is to develop self-awareness by identifying when you blame external circumstances and other people for how you think, feel, and behave. Take a close look at the people you are devoting your time and energy toward. Are they the people you want to receive it? If not, you may be giving them more power than you think they deserve.

Each second you spend commiserating with coworkers about how unfair your boss is, you are giving your boss more power. Every time you tell your friends how controlling your mother-in-law is, you give her a little more power over you. Resolve to stop giving people your time and energy if you don’t want them to play a big role in your life.