Читать книгу Comfortable Chaos - Carolyn Harvey & Beth Herrild - Страница 29

If you know your strengths, skills, and priorities, it’s much easier to play give and take with the beast. Of course, “tooting your own horn” is not something that comes naturally for most people, especially for many women who were taught to downplay their strengths and talents. But it’s well worth it to overcome the good girl syndrome. This is critical in all of your roles as a parent, spouse, employee, and employer — because only when you know your value are you able to leverage your reputation to get more of what you need.

For example, if you work outside the home, you have probably negotiated something at one time or another — whether it was for a modification to your work assignment or for the opportunity to go to a professional conference. Some of these negotiations may have felt relatively easy but your success was tied to your past behaviors and results more than you probably realized. Your ability to get things done is your negotiating strength. Sometimes you don’t even have to play this card, but other times you may need to tie your past success to a new request. Be prepared with an inventory of your skills and accomplishments. Update your résumé just for the practice of putting it on paper. Having a mental picture of your résumé will allow you to draw on key points during your negotiation.

If you are a stay-at-home parent, you might be thinking that this doesn’t apply. But if you reflect on all the roles you play at home and what it would cost if someone had to pay for all the services you provide, your worth suddenly has a dollar value. Just knowing this can boost your self-esteem and will carry over to how you perform your job at home. You can also inventory your skills just like you would on a professional résumé. As a stay-at-home parent it is easy to lose your sense of equality in the partnership when you are not the one bringing home the paycheck. Help yourself, and your partner, to see your contributions to the family by listing them on paper. You can use this as a tool in a discussion with your partner to jointly decide on which tasks are not critical and are not deserving of your time.

Knowing your worth is an essential part of controlling the beast. By feeling confident about your strengths, you can march ahead with confidence and pride.