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“I can’t help being late. All my family are like that.” “I can’t do anything about getting on with my boss. It’s him who always causes the problems.” “I can’t make this business successful, the economy is too bad.” “I can’t stop smoking, I’m addicted to smoking.” “It’s not my fault!”

Everything that happens in life has a cause. Ben eats a big meal. What happens? He puts on weight. Krizia doesn’t eat for two days, and loses weight? It’s simple: the effect of eating too much or too little has been caused by the action of eating too much or too little.

• The Cause: Effect equation. NLP expresses this with the Cause: Effect equation, C:E. Cause is on one side, and Effect is on the other.

one minute wonder Any time you feel unsure about what you are doing, take a minute to think about what you want to achieve. By being clear about the outcome you want, you will soon understand what you need to take responsibility for. This will make you more prepared to be ‘at cause’ in business.

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other”

Abraham Lincoln, 19th-century US President

What this means is that for every cause there is an effect and for every effect there is a cause.

• Are you at the cause of your life or the effect of your life? In other words, do you take responsibility for what happens to you or do you consider yourself a passive victim?

Losing weight’s a simple example. Take responsibility, exercise more and eat less, and see if you get a different result. Probably you will. Occasionally it gets more complicated, if there’s a medical issue for example, but then you can stay ‘at cause’ by taking medical advice. Now you know how to lose weight again.

But what about my relationship with my boss? Why is it not working? The original cause may not be as obvious. Was it me or him? Or both of us? All you know is that it’s not working. So how do you stay on the cause side of the equation on this one?

Well, at first glance it may not seem an easy situation to change, but in fact it’s very simple. All you have to do to be ‘at cause’ is to take responsibility for the results you get from now on. So what if it was his fault? How about changing your beliefs about the situation and behaving differently towards him? See what happens. Later secrets will give you great tools for doing this.

Decide to be in charge of your business success, and not at the mercy of what happens to you.