Читать книгу 100 Of The Best Curses and Insults In Italian: A Toolkit for the Testy Tourist - Rachel Federman, Chuck Gonzales, Rachel Federman - Страница 12
ОглавлениеIn the beginning, you didn’t really mind “taking care” of your Italian boyfriend. Little things—like bringing him five Peronis during extra time in a futbol match—didn’t bother you one bit. Then you somehow got stuck doing his laundry when his not-so-white tighty-whiteys began creeping their way into your hamper. But now that he’s got you ironing his work clothes, it’s not just his shirts that are feeling heated. To make matters worse, he just casually informed you that his mother does a better job with the iron than you. Oh no he didn’t!
What to do:
Leave the iron on top of the shirt just until it burns a nice crisp hole in the chest (but not long enough to actually start a fire). You need to show that mamma’s boy just how skilled you really are with hot tools. Then tell him. . .
What to say:
VAFFANCULO A TE—E A TUA MADRE!
“Go f**ck yourself—and your mother!”
It’s appropriate to say this because. . .
They both deserve to be cursed since you’re not sure who is the guiltier of the two. While he’s an ingrate, his mother is probably the reason why. Furthermore, insulting an Italian man’s mamma is comparable to vandalizing his Vespa. If you’re looking for a way to hit your “man” where it hurts, always aim for Mommy.
In the know:
More adult males live in their parents’ home in Italy than in any other industrialized country. In fact, an international women’s group called Stop Mothering Men (SMM) was organized with the specific purpose of forcing men to finally grow up!
EXTRA CREDIT
The next time your boyfriend compares you to his mother, you may want to counter with:
COSA PENSEREBBE MAMMINA?
“But what would Mommy think?”
TUA MADRE È UNA PUTTANA.
“Your mother’s a whore.”
FATTI STIRARE QUESTO!
“Have your mother iron this!”
