Читать книгу 100 Of The Best Curses and Insults In Italian: A Toolkit for the Testy Tourist - Rachel Federman, Chuck Gonzales, Rachel Federman - Страница 8

SITUATION #3: FENDI FAKE-OUT

Against your better judgment, you find yourself salivating over the Fendi handbags peddled by the very same Venetian “vu cumprà” (street vendor) that your hotel concierge cautioned you about. One particularly aggressive “salesman” insists (in well-rehearsed English) that his wares were made in the same exact factories as the real thing, from the same materials, based on the same designs, and using the same techniques. Your Catholic half reminds you that buying counterfeit goods is illegal and you could be hit with a "fine for fakes" of up to 10,000 euros if the police conduct a sweep and catch you with a knock-off. But your “Sunday-morning-is-for-sleeping-in” half simply can't help herself, especially after watching a hip local purchase the same model you’ve been eyeing for a mere 50 euros. When you go to pay for one yourself, the peddler feigns confusion—suddenly insisting that the bag costs double.

What to do:

Act as if you are reconsidering the purchase and hover nearby until he nets his next victim. Then, once the transaction is about to go down, introduce doubt into the new sucker’s mind by sighing and saying:

QUELLO STRONZO MI HA IMBROGLIATO!

“That bastard cheated me!”

What to say:

The slimy sales guy wants you to cough up a hundred euros for a purse that, to tell you the truth, is a piece of crap. Say to him:

SENTI, NON CREDERE DI FOTTERMISOLO PERCHÉ NON SONO ITALIANO!

“Listen, don't think you can f**ck with me just because I'm not Italian!”

It’s appropriate to say this because. . .

The same way friends don’t let friends drive drunk, customers don’t let customers get screwed.

In the know:

In the past decade, Italian police have majorly cracked down on counterfeiters of designer goods in the name of protecting its fashion industry. In fact, in August of 2005, a Philippine woman living in Florence was fined more than 3,000 euros for buying fake sunglasses!

EXTRA CREDIT

Now that you’re speaking in Italian, try thinking in Italian, too! Here’s how your thought process might go if you had actually forked over the hundred euros:

La borsa era tarocca.

“The bag was a fake.”

Ma che cazzo!

“What the f**ck?”

Vuole svuotarmi le tasche!

“He wants to empty my pockets!”