Читать книгу Selfi americano - Curtis Bauer - Страница 15

God of Light, wake.

God of Lust, relent.

God of all things unknown

let me know just this once

how to love her, when, where,

and because I’m curious, why.

God of Pleasantries, Honesty, and Severity

I’ve had enough.

God of the Fulcrum, make mine strong

and remind me what it is You do.

God of Incarceration, my friend

is a good man, leave him be.

If you do

I will cut my hair.

God of Indecision,

forgive me for not knowing her better.

Finally, O Deity who art everywhere

thank You for these sins that keep me up,

thank You for

ham sandwiches and free porn, but

help me remember their names.

The one who promised

to let me make her honest.

She who showed pity

and led me down.

The one who let me

be unfaithful with another, the first foreigner,

the one who found me in a ditch.

She was kind, from Minnesota

and wrote wonderful letters even after I told her.

Is she a mother? If so, let her child

be good. Please.

The one in the ditch used me, but

I’d like to think I taught her something.

If You can, give me a sign:

was she from Denmark?

Did she believe anything I said?

It’s too late, I suppose.

God of Forgotten Lovers, help me remember

if not their names, their faces at 3:00 a.m.,

remind me at unexpected times

of face curves and lines. Help me

remember when I walk home at night

with no one to hold. Help me wake

this sleeping soul, oh God of Light

when You wake.

Tonight I have one more plea.

There is one other.

Now her eyes are closed and

if I were there her hands would be

holding mine, if she were

here, I would not be asking for your help.

Lord, Friend, bestow your compassion

on this waywardness. Turn her away

if she comes to You. Tell her

You have met Your quota,

Tell her times are hard. Please

think of an excuse, say anything,

don’t take her away.