Читать книгу Sex For Dummies - Pierre Lehu A., Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Страница 84

Based on what you see and hear in the media, dating among younger teens has almost disappeared. It seems that rather than go out as couples, they prefer to go out in groups. There might exist couples within a group, but having two teens meeting at the ice cream parlor to stare into each other’s eyes as they sip a vanilla malt through two straws seems to be a thing of the past. I’m not so sure the media has it right because obviously people still date. In fact, when I was writing From You to Two, my book on dating, I spoke with individuals who told me they go on as many five or six “dates” a week, sometimes having more than one date on a given night. And I’m not even talking about speed dating (a concept that I find hard to grasp, as I would be someone who would hog the entire five minutes while my poor speed dates would never get a word in edgewise).

But many of these dates are more of an elimination process than anything else. In the “old” days, dates had a more serious quality to them, but today they’ve become so casual that people have little or no investment in them. These kind of dates resemble more the test drive of an automobile than a date. Except the differences between people are far more varied than that between cars, and since there’s no salesman actively trying to make a match, more often than not, these dates go nowhere. (Not that matchmakers don’t still exist.)

If you’re not invested in a date, the odds of that date leading to more dates goes down exponentially. If, instead of working to try to make the relationship go forward, you’re looking forward to the next date with someone else, your attitude is going to sink that ship before it’s left the harbor.