Читать книгу Super Confidence: Simple Steps to Build Your Confidence - Gael Lindenfield, Gael Lindenfield - Страница 27

Learning theory has taught us that we acquire new skills faster and more efficiently if we are rewarded when we achieve, rather than punished when we do not. Most unconfident people will have experienced their fair share of punishment, both from others and from themselves. Getting rewards will be a relatively new experience.

In the early stages of learning a new skill, we may not get sufficient rewards from the ‘outside world’ to allay our anxieties. So, we must learn to reward ourselves. This may mean treating yourself to a special night out or a present if you have tried to do something which you know was very risky for you, even though to others the action may have seemed very ordinary. For example, you may have set yourself the task of striking up three conversations at a party. The people who are with you may not appreciate your achievement, and so will not think to say ‘Well done’.

Equally we may not get immediate rewards because the task which we have chosen to use our new-found skills on may be very complex and long-term. You may be very tempted to give up when you hear people say: ‘Don’t bother; it’s not worth it. Life’s too short. It’s best to keep the peace.’

As you become more confident, your life will begin to change and become more exciting and satisfying. Then there will be no shortage of rewards!

WHAT CAN HELP YOU • belief • self-help • practice • support • rewards WHAT CAN HINDER YOU • martyrdom • cynicism • mystique • fantasy • fear