Читать книгу Emotional Confidence: Simple Steps to Build Your Confidence - Gael Lindenfield, Gael Lindenfield - Страница 41

Yes, there is now good evidence to suggest that Freud was right in at least one respect. Our emotional life is influenced by our unconscious mind. The physiological stirring of an emotion usually takes place before our thinking centre registers it, and it can simmer around below our threshold of consciousness as a hidden mood from hours to years.

Even if we are not aware of it happening to ourselves, the amateur psychologist in most of us will often recognize it in others. I am sure you must have been witness to one of the following examples either in your real life or through a film or book:

– the mother who for years has put her family’s needs before her own, being unaware of her building resentment until she meets the sympathetic ear of a waiter on holiday!

– the young man who didn’t realize he was falling in love with a colleague until his best friend started dating her

– the girl who doesn’t realize she is embarrassed by a compliment until her boss asks her why she is blushing

– the man who is unaware of his fear of heights until the moment he is about to do a Bunjie jump for charity

– the woman with a history of sexual abuse who is totally unconscious of her deep feelings of shame until a therapist points to her bulimia as possible evidence of self-disgust.

Interestingly, I have just read in today’s newspaper a very apt quote on this subject from a famous footballer. Having started counselling sessions, he talks about how he has now become aware of ‘the rage inside me which had been building up for years’. There will be hundreds of sceptics smiling cynically at this ‘confession’, but equally there will be many millions who’ll find his explanation highly plausible. The acid test is, of course: now that he has the emotion in the care of his conscious mind, will he take responsibility for it and learn how to express it safely?