Читать книгу SNAP! - Gary Small - Страница 19

How many times have you told yourself that you were going to drop those extra pounds? Or start being more patient with your teenagers? Perhaps you’ve been meaning to try meditation or join a gym, but you just haven’t got around to it. It’s easy to find reasons and excuses not to change, and unfortunately some people never become motivated to move beyond that point.

For those of us who are motivated, however, there is a critical moment when we shift from wishing we could change to actually doing something about it. That tipping point can be different for everyone, but once we reach it, the road to change becomes a true possibility.

Diane, a 28-year-old waitress, always had a bad temper. Growing up, her explosive outbursts got her into trouble at home and in school, but she felt justified in her anger because everybody else was usually wrong. Her parents couldn’t change her, and in the past few years, she had alienated her now ex-husband and lost two jobs due to workplace altercations. When she finally got hired at another restaurant, she swore things would be different. But on the second day, she pissed off a regular customer who vowed never to return.

Diane got fired from the new job, and she could no longer deny that she wasn’t at fault. She realized, deep down, that she had to make a change, but she had no idea how to go about it.

Behavioral psychologists have developed various theories in attempting to explain behavior change. For example, the Fogg Behavior Model posits that behavior change involves ability, motivation, and triggers. The Health Belief Model suggests that beliefs about threats to well-being and effectiveness, as well as outcomes of specific actions, will determine behaviors. The Theory of Planned Behavior proposes that an individual’s behavior is proportional to the amount of control that they have over their own actions and the strength of their intentions. The Transtheoretical Model describes five stages a person must proceed through in order to achieve change.

These various models and theories are helpful in providing the framework for understanding the change process. To make them more practical, however, I have adapted these theories to create a more user-friendly approach for each individual to determine their readiness for change, formulate a plan, and achieve their goals.

This approach, which I call the CPAS Method for Change, stands for considering, planning, acting, and sustaining new traits and habits—the sequence of phases that lead to meaningful personality change. It’s easy for me to remember because it reminds me of my accountants who I meet with every April. With the right motivation, most people are able to move sequentially through these CPAS phases and achieve their objectives either on their own, with the help of a psychotherapist, or a combination of the two. This approach is effective for a variety of goals, including losing weight, improving relationships, or becoming more assertive.

My longtime friend Jackson had gradually put on pounds during his 30s and 40s and hadn’t done any regular exercise since college. I was concerned because now that he was in his 50s, those extra pounds around the middle could increase his risk for Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, coronary disease, and other age-related illnesses. When I occasionally mentioned these issues, he would laugh it off or joke that he needed his belly to play Santa Claus for the kids. My invitations to go on a hike or meet at the gym fell on deaf ears. I considered gifting Jackson a couple of free sessions with my trainer, but I was concerned he might feel pressured, which could further discourage him from changing his behavior.

I knew that behind all the jokes, at an intellectual level, Jackson acknowledged the health benefits of exercise, but he wasn’t motivated enough to begin considering a real change in his behavior. Ten months later Jackson suffered a mild heart attack. It scared him, and he was finally motivated enough to make a change and get in shape. This change benefitted his overall future health, because adopting one healthy habit often leads to others.

Once you are ready to commit to your CPAS Method for Change, you will already be in your planning phase and ready to choose whether you wish to work with a psychotherapist, self-help techniques, or both.

CPAS—the Four Phases of Change

Whether you wish to change a specific behavior or alter an aspect of your personality, the same four phases apply, and they progress in the following order:

1 1. Considering. Your barriers and excuses for continuing an unwanted behavior or personality trait are no longer working. You are thinking about making a change, but you may still be ambivalent and not convinced that change is possible.

2 2. Planning. You have identified what you wish to change about yourself and you are highly motivated. You can now decide whether to move forward on your own, with the help of a therapist, or a combination of the two.

3 3. Acting. You have established your plan for change and are ready to act on it. You begin the process of adopting new behaviors and ways of thinking and giving up your old ways. Once people begin taking action, change can happen swiftly—in as little as 30 days.

4 4. Sustaining. Now that you have achieved the change you hoped for, you will learn strategies to sustain the new version of you over time.