Читать книгу My Trans Parent - Heather Bryant - Страница 15

“Do your research. Knowledge is strength.”

—VICTORIA T., AGE 32

The word “transgender” wasn’t in my vocabulary when my dad first transitioned. At the time, if I had to define what was happening, I would have said that my dad was slipping on a new skin and a new identity. To me, “transgender” implies occupying more than one gender, being “across” genders, but what I saw was a transfer from one body to another, a metamorphosis. It was more like shape-shifting than overlapping. If you had stopped me in the street to ask what “transgender” meant, I wouldn’t have known what to say.

I was given the word “transgender” later, and it was one I hid with shame. I didn’t have any friends with a transgender parent, so I had no idea what it meant. People at the time associated “transgender” with things that were hidden and taboo, with prostitutes and gigolos, with people who didn’t fit in. I didn’t like the word at all. I also didn’t know what it meant. I just didn’t want anyone to know that the word was connected in any way to my family.

“Before I could even deal with my own feelings, I had to educate myself about what ‘transgender’ is.”

—COLLEEN M., AGE 44

So, let’s talk about some definitions. Language and concepts of gender are changing all the time. As new ideas evolve, we learn more about ourselves and our families. Keep in mind, too, that everyone has their own unique preferences for language and how it relates to their identity, so when in doubt, respect those chosen terms. Your parent might teach you something new about gender that you didn’t know. With that in mind, let’s get started.