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12Intimacy & Diabetes

You May Feel Afraid

You may have heard about complications, such as life expectancy con-cerns, heart disease, and more. The good news is that people who man-age their diabetes can reduce their risk of medical problems. Many live their entire lives without developing any issues at all. If you manage your diabetes well, you can enjoy the same life expectancy as people without diabetes.

Still, you may have some fears about intimacy. Perhaps you had a dif-ficult time achieving an erection, which happens to many men, and you fear that your “erection disappointment” will occur again. Or you are fe-male and felt pain during intercourse and are afraid to be intimate again. Your loved one may not understand these fears or may have worries of their own. Invite your partner to discuss these concerns using the com-munication tools in Chapter 7.

Your health care team is a great resource for information. Ask ques-tions, attend classes, review materials, and visit websites they recom-mend, such as diabetes.org. The Internet offers a lot of helpful details and support, but can also provide potentially dangerous information. Review advice you get from the Internet with your health care team before you try it, since it may not be appropriate for you.

You May Feel Angry

You didn’t invite diabetes into your life, so it’s no surprise that having it might cause you to feel angry or resentful. When you feel angry, you may develop what some experts call “hot brain.” That’s when you be-come emotionally reactive—your heart races, you think less clearly, you become less empathetic, and you can begin to panic.

While in “hot brain,” you are less likely to make good decisions. Imag-ine you were shopping in a lovely little boutique, then suddenly remem-bered that you had an appointment. You quickly ran out and found a parking ticket on the windshield of your car. How would you react? You wouldn’t stop and calmly think, “Oh, I wonder if the police officer was having a rough day and accidentally misread my parking meter.” Instead,