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2. Diabetes and Your Feelings13

you would probably enter “hot brain” and become furious. You might even yell or forcibly throw your packages into the car.

When you start to enter “hot brain,” try one of more of the following behaviors to help yourself calm down:

Take a 20-minute break, or longer.

Breathe slowly.

Walk around.

Leave the room and do something that relaxes you. Do yoga, med-itate, listen to music, do a jigsaw puzzle, etc.

If you are arguing with your loved one, make an appointment to dis-cuss the issue after you both relax and are less likely to say or do some-thing hurtful. Don’t think about the distressing issue again until you meet. It might take several hours to fully calm down, so take your time. You may also feel angry if your partner transforms into a member of the “diabetes police” and becomes overprotective, critical, or unsupportive of your efforts to care for your diabetes.

Diabetes Police

Bill Polonksy, PhD, CDE, coined the term “diabetes police” in his book Diabetes Burnout. These are the folks who hover over you and cor-rect every diabetes-related move you make. Although their comments are usually motivated by a combination of love for you and fear for your health, their good intentions rarely come across and can cause you to become quite upset.

If your loved one has become a diabetes drill sergeant, try the following:

Share how you feel. If talking about this issue is difficult, use the communication tools in Chapter 7 to guide your discussion.

Attend a diabetes class or visit a reliable website together so you both have up-to-date information about how to care for diabetes. Often, partners will nag if they believe you aren’t caring for your diabetes properly or don’t take it seriously enough.

Visit your health care provider together so you both hear how to handle specific diabetes-related issues.