Читать книгу Modern Romance September 2017 Books 5 - 8 - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 14

CHAPTER FOUR

‘CARO?’

The teasing, lilting voice of the woman Rafael had picked up in a bar only irritated him. He glanced across at her, noting the ruthlessly toned limbs, the well-endowed chest, the pouting mouth. None of it appealed to him. He couldn’t even remember her name.

‘You can go.’

Her lipsticked mouth dropped open in outrage and Rafael turned away, bored and disgusted. He hadn’t even touched her, and he didn’t want to. His libido had barely stirred once since Allegra had left his bed. He hadn’t slept with anyone, had lost interest.

‘Rafael...’ She reached out her arms, her pout deepening, and impatience bit at him.

‘Seriously. Go.’ He gestured to the door of his penthouse suite. He was in Paris on business, and as the blonde beauty stalked towards the door, it occurred to Rafael that he was behaving just as he had before, throwing a woman out of his room.

Seemed he didn’t have a great track record.

But, damn it, he’d expected her to call. A courtesy call, at least, to tell him she wasn’t pregnant. Although why he should expect courtesy from her when he’d shown her so little he didn’t know.

So she hadn’t called. Obviously she wasn’t pregnant, and he could move on with his life. He could forget Allegra Wells and the sweet purity of her smile, the tears that had streaked down her porcelain cheeks when she’d listened to that music, the way her body had yielded and curled into his, accepting him wholly in a way he’d never felt before. Complete. Right.

Idiot.

It had been a casual sexual encounter, one of many, nothing more. Allegra Wells was out of his life...for good. Which was just how he wanted it, because he was done with the Mancinis. He’d taken the man’s business, dismantled the industry that had been built on his father’s grave.

Justice had been served, and yet there was no one to share his victory. His mother and father were dead, and he didn’t even know where Angelica was. The family he’d sworn to protect and provide for was scattered, destroyed. And Rafael still felt restless, vaguely guilty and unfulfilled, as if he was missing something...or someone.

* * *

‘This might be a little cold.’

Allegra winced slightly at the feel of the cold gel on her tummy and then the insistent prodding of the ultrasound wand. It was her eighteen-week scan, and she couldn’t wait to see her baby. She craned her neck to gaze in anxious curiosity at the black and white screen and the fuzzy image that suddenly appeared, along with the whooshing, galloping noise of her baby’s heart.

Excitement leaped inside her as the figure gained definition and clarity—head, arms, legs, beating heart. Everything tucked up like a present waiting for her. Allegra let out a choked cry, smiling through her tears.

It hadn’t been an easy pregnancy. It was over three months since she’d made the decision to keep this baby, three months of debilitating morning sickness, throwing up nearly every morning and twice having to go to hospital to be treated for dehydration. She’d lost weight, struggled to work, and wondered how on earth she was going to manage as a single mother.

Because she intended to do this alone. She couldn’t face telling Rafael about their baby. She couldn’t face her child having a father like she’d had, one who would walk away when he felt like it. She still didn’t understand what her father’s note had meant, and she hadn’t dared yet to ask her mother about it, but she’d experienced enough of Rafael Vitali to know she couldn’t trust him to stick around.

Still she didn’t know how she was going to manage, in a studio apartment with a low-paying job. She hadn’t figured it out yet, but she would. Eventually. Now, however, her all of her fears fell away at the beautiful sight of her baby. Her baby.

The technician frowned and poked harder with the wand. Allegra winced. Then, more alarmingly, the technician put the instrument down and rose from her seat by the examining table where Allegra was lying.

‘I’ll be right back,’ she murmured, and then left the room.

Allegra lay there, shivering from the cold gel, her gently rounded belly damp and exposed. Unease crept icy fingers along her spine. Technicians weren’t supposed to leave in the middle of an appointment like that, surely?

She found out moments later when an important-looking doctor in a white lab coat followed the technician back into the room, frowning as she looked at the screen with the beautiful, fuzzy image of Allegra’s child.

‘What’s going on?’ Allegra asked, her voice high and strained with anxiety.

‘Just a moment please, Miss... Wells.’ The doctor glanced briefly at her file before turning her narrowed gaze back on the screen. Something was wrong. Allegra could feel it in her bones, in her frightened, hard-beating heart. Something had gone wrong with this pregnancy. With her baby.

She lay there, everything in her frozen and fearful, as the doctor took the wand and began to prod her belly once more, murmuring to the technician who murmured back, none of it audible to Allegra.

‘Please,’ she begged. ‘Please, tell me what’s going on.’

The technician gave her a smile of such sorrowful sympathy that Allegra wished she hadn’t asked. Then she handed her a paper towel to wipe off the gel while the doctor continued to study the image on the screen—the image of her baby.

‘Dr Stein will speak with you shortly,’ the technician murmured.

Moments later Allegra had all the answers she didn’t want. The words reverberated emptily through her, making horrible sense and sounding unintelligible, impossible, at the same time. Congenital heart defect were the three words that hurt the most.

‘But what does that mean exactly?’ she demanded, her voice shaking. She knew there were heart defects that were operable. There were even some that were asymptomatic, hardly worth mentioning. But looking at Dr Stein’s compassionate face, she feared her baby didn’t have one of those.

‘The particular defect we’re discussing is life-threatening,’ Dr Stein said quietly. ‘The baby wouldn’t live past a few months of age, if that.’ Allegra gaped and she continued, ‘We’ll order an amniocentesis as soon as possible, to know for sure what we’ll dealing with. This may take up to three weeks, I’m afraid. Based on the ultrasound, it could be one of several heart defects, of varying seriousness.’

‘But you think it’s a more serious one?’ Allegra whispered, and Dr Stein gave her an unhappy look.

‘I’m afraid that, yes, it’s looking like that, but we won’t know until we get the results of the amniocentesis. It’s difficult to diagnose this kind of condition from only a scan.’

Allegra walked home in a fog, barely aware of the steps that took her up to her sixth-floor studio. Anton poked his head out of his apartment to ask how she was, and Allegra didn’t even know what she said. The world felt muted, as if everything was taking place far away, to other people. Nothing mattered. Nothing at all mattered any more.

She lay on her bed, one hand pressed against her middle. Already, she’d barely been coping, stumbling through each day, trying to survive the awful morning sickness that had exhausted her so utterly. She hadn’t let herself think too much about the future, and now it looked like there might not be one. How was she going to wait three long weeks to find out?

And through the haze of her grief and fear, one fact kept coming back to torment her. She should have told Rafael. No matter how he had treated her, he should know she was pregnant with his child. He should be aware of what was happening.

Still she resisted. She didn’t want to give him a chance to reject her all over again, along with their baby. She didn’t want to face his accusations and anger, as he no doubt would be furious that she hadn’t told him she was pregnant. She especially didn’t want to open herself up to hurt.

Since Rome, she’d done her best to push all thoughts of Rafael out of her mind. She’d told herself there was still time to tell him about the baby, if she ended up deciding that was the best thing to do, which she wasn’t at all sure it was. She just needed to feel better first, to find her feet. When she felt stronger, she could think about whether she wanted Rafael involved, even if everything in her had shied away from it.

But now? Now everything had sped up and become urgent. She had to make hard decisions, agonising choices. And Rafael deserved to be a part of that process, even if she dreaded talking to him again.

* * *

Allegra battled the possibilities in her mind as the date of her amniocentesis came closer. Finally, two days before the scheduled procedure, she took out the crisp white business card Rafael had handed her outside the lawyer’s office. With trembling fingers she dialled the mobile number printed starkly on the card.

He answered after two rings. ‘Yes?’

‘It’s Allegra.’ Her voice was a thready whisper, and she straightened, determined to be strong. The silence on the end of the line stretched on for several seconds.

‘Yes?’ Rafael finally said again, his voice tense, guarded.

Allegra took a deep breath. ‘I’m calling because something has happened.’ Rafael didn’t say anything and she forced herself to continue. ‘I’m pregnant and—’

‘You’re pregnant?’ His breath hissed sharply between his teeth. ‘By me?’

‘Yes, of course by you—’

‘Then why are you telling me now? You must be halfway through your pregnancy.’

‘Almost,’ Allegra agreed.

‘Then why—?’

‘Rafael, please, just listen. I’m pregnant and I had an ultrasound and it looks like there is something wrong with the baby. Something serious.’ Her voice caught and she dashed at her eyes with her hand. She couldn’t break down now. She had to stay strong. The last person to look for comfort from was Rafael.

Rafael remained silent for a few taut seconds. ‘What kind of thing are you talking about?’ he finally asked.

‘A congenital heart defect.’ Allegra drew a ragged breath. ‘I’m having an amniocentesis in two days’ time to determine—’

‘In New York?’

‘Yes.’

‘I’ll be there.’

Shock had her mouth dropping open. ‘Be there? But—’

‘Of course I’ll be there,’ Rafael said roughly. ‘This is my child. Isn’t it?’

‘Of course it is.’

‘Then I’ll be there. I’ll call again tomorrow to confirm the details.’

Allegra wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting Rafael’s response to be, but that wasn’t it. As she hung up the phone she battled between trepidation at seeing him again and a treacherous relief that someone was going to walk through this with her. She was used to being alone, preferred it, but she didn’t want to be alone in this.

And yet Rafael? She was, Allegra knew, going to have to be careful. With her baby, and with her heart.

* * *

Rafael drummed his fingers against the armrest as the limo cut smoothly through Manhattan’s midtown traffic, heading towards Allegra’s flat in the East Village. The shock and fury he’d felt that she’d hidden her pregnancy from him for so long had been replaced by a far greater fear for the health of their unborn child. He was going to have a child. Someone to protect and provide for, cherish and guard with his life. A life he would treasure, if he ever got the chance.

Rafael had never believed in the idea of atonement, and yet he thought of it now. Perhaps the sins of the past could be righted by this future...his child’s future. Perhaps he would finally find the peace and satisfaction he craved, through the life of this innocent.

He’d deal with Allegra’s wilful deception later; right now they needed to get through the current crisis...whatever happened. He’d let down those who’d depended on him before and he wouldn’t do it again. He would not fail his child.

The limo pulled up in front of a tall brick building. Rafael’s mouth thinned as he stepped out of the limo and scanned the names by the buzzers. His eyes narrowed as he saw that Allegra was on the sixth floor, and the building had no lift. She was walking up and down six flights of stairs every day? Surely that could not be good for her or their child.

He pressed the buzzer and her voice, sounding tired and wavering, came through the intercom.

‘I’ll be right down.’

Tense with anxiety, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers and scanned the building again. It looked run-down and dangerous, a drift of takeaway menus littering the front step, the bins outside overflowing. This was no place for the mother of his child to live.

Moments later Allegra appeared in the doorway. As she opened the door, Rafael tried to hide his shock. She looked terrible—her face was pasty and pale, her hair lifeless and dull, and she’d lost far too much weight. The T-shirt and light trousers she wore for a humid summer’s day in the city hung on her like rags on a scarecrow.

Rafael stepped forward to take her arm. She recoiled slightly at his touch, but he held her arm anyway. ‘You look as if a breath of wind might blow you away.’

‘I’ve been ill.’

‘You should have called me earlier.’ He could not keep the recrimination from his voice.

‘Please, let’s not argue. It’s taking all my strength to get through this day already.’

Rafael nodded tersely, knowing she was right. Every instinct in him clamoured to demand why she’d hidden the pregnancy from him when he’d been as clear as he could that he’d wanted to know. But now was not the time. Still, he determined grimly, the time would come. He’d make sure of it.

He helped Allegra into the car, noting the way she sank into the seat with a relieved sigh, resting her head against the leather cushions.

‘What did you mean, you’ve been ill?’ he asked as the limo pulled away from the kerb.

‘Morning sickness,’ she murmured. ‘I’ve had it terribly. I’ve hardly been able to keep anything down.’

You should have told me. He bit back the words. ‘Isn’t there anything the doctors can do? Medication...?’

‘I was prescribed something, but it didn’t really help. It’s started to get a little bit better recently, thank goodness, and my doctors think it might go away soon if...’ She bit her lip, her eyes bright with tears.

Rafael could finish that awful sentence. If she continued with this pregnancy, if their baby was healthy. ‘We need more information,’ he said gruffly, ‘before any decisions are made.’ But already he’d made a decision. He wasn’t leaving her, and she wasn’t staying in a walk-up flat in a run-down neighbourhood. Her place, no matter what happened, was with him. He would protect her and their baby. He thought back to that terrible day, outside his father’s study door. He’d failed in protecting those he loved that day. He’d been too weak, too slow to act, too naïve. But he would not fail again. The need to protect his ill-gotten family burned within him, brighter and fiercer than anything he’d ever felt before.

* * *

Allegra could feel the tension emanating from Rafael, but she didn’t have the energy to wonder or worry about it. All her strength was taken up with preparing for what lay ahead.

She’d barely slept last night, too worried by both the procedure and its possible results. She hadn’t even had time to think about Rafael and seeing him again.

And yet now that he was here...she inhaled the saffron scent of his aftershave, felt the coiled, restless power of him, just as she had before. It made her ache. It made her remember. Even now she felt a treacherous dart of desire. How stupid, considering their situation, and the way he’d treated her.

They didn’t speak all the way to the hospital, but that was okay. Allegra didn’t think she could manage chit-chat, and talking about what mattered felt too hard. The limo pulled up to the front of the hospital, and Rafael leapt out before Allegra could so much as reach for the handle.

He opened her door and with one arm around her shepherded her into the building. She wasn’t that fragile, but she craved his protectiveness now. It felt strange, when she’d taught herself not to rely on anyone. Now she wanted to. She needed to.

Before long they were in a treatment room, with Allegra lying down on the examining table and Rafael sitting tensely on a chair next to her. A technician prepared her for the ultrasound, and the now-familiar whooshing sound of her baby’s heart filled Allegra with both relief and joy.

She glanced across at Rafael, shocked and then touched by the look of tender wonder softening his face. His surprised gaze met hers and he gave her a smile that seemed almost tremulous. Another point of connection, as sweet as any they’d ever shared, and yet... Could she trust it? Dared she think about what happened next, or in the long term?

‘Now this won’t take long,’ the doctor assured her. ‘And it shouldn’t hurt too much. I’ve given you a local anaesthetic to numb the area, but you might experience some minor discomfort and cramping.’

Allegra took in the size of the needle and instinctively reached for Rafael’s hand. He encased her hand in his larger one, and she squeezed it hard as the needle went in. It didn’t hurt, but it still scared her. Everything about this scared her.

In a few moments it was over, and the technician was wiping the gel off Allegra’s stomach.

‘Are you all right?’ Rafael asked in a low voice, and Allegra nodded.

‘Yes. I think so.’ She felt shaky and a bit tearful, and she had some mild cramps, but nothing she couldn’t deal with. She tried to shake his hand off, wanting to be strong, but he kept holding hers.

‘You need to rest.’

‘You should take the rest of the day off,’ the doctor advised. ‘Normal activity can be resumed tomorrow.’

Rafael frowned at that, but said nothing. Together they left the treatment room, and it wasn’t until they were in the limo and Rafael was telling the address to the driver that Allegra realised he wasn’t taking her home.

‘Wait—where are we going?’ she asked.

‘To my hotel near Central Park.’ Rafael sat back.

‘But I want to go home,’ Allegra said. She wanted her bed and her music and the comforts of the familiar.

Rafael glanced at her, his expression unreadable. ‘That apartment is completely inappropriate for a woman in your condition.’

‘You mean pregnant?’ Allegra stared at him, surprised by his high-handedness even as she wondered why she should be. Rafael had been completely in control of every situation she’d seen him in.

‘Climbing six sets of stairs to get to your home cannot be good for our baby,’ Rafael stated.

‘Plenty of women do that and more—’

‘Yet you are the one I care about,’ Rafael cut her off. ‘And frankly you look terrible—tired, pale, drawn. You need proper rest.’

‘Thanks very much,’ Allegra snapped. Her feminine pride was hurt by his blunt assessment, even though she knew she didn’t look good, and hadn’t for a while.

‘The reason I look tired, Rafael, is because I’ve had extreme morning sickness, not because I climb some stairs.’

‘It can’t help.’

‘So what are you suggesting? That I move house?’

‘Precisely,’ Rafael answered in a clipped voice. ‘You will live with me in my hotel suite until the results from the amniocentesis return.’

She stared at him in disbelief. She’d wanted someone to lean on, yes, for a little bit. But not someone to take over her life. Yet should she have expected anything else from this man? ‘I can’t live with you,’ she protested. ‘I don’t want to live with you. I have a job—’

‘Managing a café, on your feet all day? Take sick leave.’

‘I can’t—’

‘Then I shall arrange it.’

Allegra simply stared, too shocked by his autocratic statements to frame a suitable reply. She should have expected this, but she’d been so tired and shaky and fearful, she’d just been glad to have someone to lean on for a little while. Now she was starting to wish she’d never called Rafael at all. ‘This is ridiculous.’

‘Even so.’ Rafael was as unmovable as a brick wall, his expression obdurate. And meanwhile they were speeding towards Central Park, away from her flat, her job, her life.

‘You can’t just waltz into my life and make all these changes and demands,’ Allegra persisted. ‘I won’t let you.’

Rafael raked a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Allegra had the strange sense that he was battling a deeper emotion than she understood. ‘I realise you do not want me to tell you what to do,’ he said evenly. ‘But when you put your emotional reaction to that aside, you will surely realise that I am right.’

Allegra let out a huff of disbelieving laughter. ‘What I didn’t realise is how unbelievably arrogant you are.’

Rafael’s mouth firmed. ‘This isn’t about arrogance. I’m not issuing orders simply to show who’s in control.’

‘Really?’

‘I am considering your health, Allegra, as well as that of our child.’

‘And if I refuse?’ Allegra asked. ‘What will you do?’

‘Why would you refuse? You want what is best for our baby, do you not? As do I.’

A lump formed in her throat and her eyes burned. He dared to suggest she didn’t care for their child? ‘Of course I do.’

‘Then surely rest and relaxation in a comfortable place is it? Why overtax and strain yourself when you don’t have to? Why climb six sets of stairs when you don’t have to?’ He held up a hand to stem any protests she might have made. ‘I understand that climbing the stairs might have no negative effect on your pregnancy. But what if there is the smallest chance that it did?’ He leaned forward, his eyes burning bright. ‘If you could turn back time, do things differently...’ For a second his voice choked, and Allegra had the distinct feeling he was talking about something else.

‘What would you change, Rafael?’ she asked quietly. ‘What would you do differently?’

He shook his head, the movement abrupt and dismissive. ‘It is now that matters. Now you have the chance to make the best choice for your—our—baby.’

Allegra stared at him, both transfixed and uncertain. ‘You can’t keep me in some bubble. Pregnant women are able to live normally.’

‘Two weeks is all I’m asking. Two weeks until we know what we’re dealing with, and then we can reassess. Discuss.’

Discuss what was likely to be a life-threatening condition. The unshed tears that burned behind her lids threatened to fall. Suddenly it felt like too much; her resistance had been feeble but it was all she had. She couldn’t fight any more, couldn’t stay strong and remote as she always tried to.

‘Fine.’ She sagged against the seat as the limo pulled up in front of one of the city’s most luxurious hotels. ‘You win.’ Relief and triumph flashed in Rafael’s amber eyes, and in that moment she wondered just how much she was conceding.