Читать книгу Modern Romance September 2017 Books 5 - 8 - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 19

CHAPTER NINE

ALLEGRA GAZED OUT the window of the passenger jet at the hard blue sky, not a cloud in sight, and tried to bolster her courage as well as calm her seething nerves. They were due to land in Palermo in less than an hour, and after a sleepless night in the first-class cabin she felt exhausted and overwhelmed.

‘Do you need anything?’ Rafael asked as he looked up from his tablet where he’d been scanning the morning news. ‘Herbal tea? A hot compress?’

‘I’m fine.’ He’d been all solicitousness for the flight, but it was a formal, distant concern that set Allegra’s nerves on edge. She felt like his patient, or perhaps his possession. Maybe both. And she was conscious, more than ever, of how much she’d left behind. Her job. Her life. Freedom and independence.

‘How far is your villa from the airport?’ she asked, and Rafael put his tablet aside.

‘About an hour. A limo will pick us up.’

She nodded, gripping the armrests, wishing she felt more at ease. More confident that she was doing the right thing. She’d be living in the lap of luxury after all. Rafael had promised her just about anything she wanted. And yet...he could be such a hard man. Even when he was being kind there was a distance to him, a remoteness that made her uneasy. And she knew no one in Sicily other than him. Their baby wasn’t due for over four months. What would she do all day? Could she be happy?

‘Please don’t worry,’ Rafael murmured, resting one long, lean hand on top of hers. ‘It will all be fine.’

Allegra nodded again. Rafael squeezed her hand, and the simple touch had the power to affect her, reminded her that despite all their differences they did have chemistry. Chemistry Rafael no doubt expected them to act on...but when? She couldn’t even begin to think about that. Sex seemed like an impossibility, although the doctor had, with a smile and a wink, given them the all-clear.

‘There’s no reason,’ he’d said, looking at them both, ‘why you can’t have a normal pregnancy from now until your delivery...and a normal sex life.’

Allegra had blushed and stared down at her lap. Rafael had said nothing. She had no idea what to expect from him, from anything, and it made her feel uncertain. Vulnerable. Which was a feeling she hated.

‘Please prepare for landing.’

Allegra put her seat up as the steward went through the cabin and the plane began its descent. Below she could see Sicily spread out in a living map: dusty, rocky hills and towns with red-roofed buildings that looked as if they were clinging to the mountainside. It was unfamiliar and yet it struck a chord, reminded her suddenly and sweetly of her childhood in Italy. A soft sigh escaped her and Rafael gave her a sharp look.

‘Are you all right?’

‘Yes, I was just thinking about when I lived here. That is, in Italy.’ She gave him a small smile. ‘It feels like a lifetime ago.’

‘You lived in Rome?’

‘I lived in Rome during the school year,’ she answered, ‘and spent summers at our estate in Abruzzi. I loved it there.’ The land had been harsh and rugged and unrelentingly beautiful, snow-capped mountains piercing a brilliantly blue sky. She’d loved the quiet, the sense of solitude and stillness and peace. It had spoken to her shy, solitary spirit.

‘You missed it?’ Rafael asked after a moment.

‘Yes, especially because my first year in New York was so awful.’ She shook her head at the memory, her mouth twisting.

‘What was so awful about it?’

‘Everything. My English was terrible, and the school was big and rough—I felt lost. I was teased too, but it helped when I kept myself to myself. Then I was just invisible.’

Rafael frowned. ‘That doesn’t sound like much fun.’

‘No, but I’ve always liked my own company.’ She paused. ‘It’s easier, isn’t it, not to depend on anyone? Not to care.’

Rafael didn’t respond, merely frowned and looked out the window. Allegra wondered what he was thinking and decided not to ask. Better not to share any more feelings than she already had.

The plane touched down with a bump, and for the next hour they were kept busy clearing Immigration and collecting their luggage.

By the time Allegra slid into the limo she felt exhausted, and although she’d meant to take in the scenery on the drive to Rafael’s estate, she ended up falling asleep as the limo climbed narrow, twisting roads, making the steep ascent into the mountains.

When Rafael nudged her gently awake she discovered she was lying on the seat, her head in his lap, her cheek resting on his powerful thigh. Rafael’s hand rested lightly on her hair. It felt wonderful and alarming at the same time, and she scrambled up to a sitting position as quickly as she could. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled as she pushed tangled hair away from her eyes. She felt thick-headed, her body clock completely out of synch, and she had a feeling she looked like a disaster. ‘I didn’t even realise I’d fallen asleep.’

‘You were tired. We’re here now, and after the doctor checks you out you can have a proper rest.’

Allegra looked at him in confusion. ‘The doctor?’

‘I’ve put a doctor on retainer for the duration of your pregnancy. He’s living in one of the estate’s cottages. It seemed sensible, considering the remoteness of our location. Of course, Palermo’s emergency medical facilities are less than an hour away, and I have a helicopter on the estate.’

She stared at him in surprise. ‘But the doctor in New York said my pregnancy was normal, Rafael. This seems a bit excessive.’ Which was massive understatement. She didn’t need a doctor on call, surely. And yet Rafael looked obdurate.

Rafael flicked a glance at her. ‘There is no harm in taking precautions. You want what’s best for our son, don’t you?’

Once again he was playing that trump card. Allegra decided not to argue. She was too tired, and she supposed there was no reason to mind having a doctor around.

Rafael opened the door to the limo and ushered her out, one hand resting on her elbow as he guided her towards the villa. Allegra paused on the portico, breathing in the warm, fir-scented air as she took in the curving drive that snaked through dense trees, the rolling, rocky hills visible beyond.

She turned to the house, a sprawling and imposing villa of weathered stone, its double doors of ancient, scarred wood now flung open. A smiling, red-cheeked woman, her greying hair piled on top of her head in a round bun, gave them both a wide smile while next to her a tall, lanky man nodded and bowed.

‘This is Maria and Salvatore, my housekeeper and groundsman,’ Rafael explained to Allegra. He spoke in Italian, which he hadn’t done with her all the time they’d been in New York, and even though it was her native language, after so many years in America it took Allegra a moment to make the adjustment.

Maria came forward, exclaiming about her bump, and then kissed her soundly on both cheeks. Salvatore bowed again. The exchange heartened Allegra, and made her feel a little less alone.

‘Now is not the time for a tour,’ Rafael said. ‘Since you are tired. I’ll show you your room and then summon the doctor.’

‘I’m fine...’ Allegra protested, because now that she was here she wanted to explore. From the soaring foyer she could see a comfortable-looking lounge with huge sofas in cream linen and French doors overlooking a terrace. On the other side she saw the cheerful yellow walls of a large kitchen, and another set of French doors leading to what looked like a large vegetable garden. All of it made her want to see and know more. She felt the stirrings of excitement, which was a welcome change from all the apprehension.

‘You need to rest,’ Rafael said, clearly brooking no argument, and with his hand on her elbow he guided her up the curving stairs to a large bedroom. While he went to fetch the doctor, Allegra explored the room—it was every bit as luxurious as the one she’d enjoyed in the hotel back in New York.

There was a huge king-sized bed on its own dais, a massive fireplace that would make the room cosy in winter, and wide windows whose shutters were open to the tumbling gardens below. She rested her elbows on the stone sill as she took in the infinity pool sparkling under the sunlight, and the tangle of bougainvillea and hibiscus that covered the steep hillsides. The air was warm and dusty, scented with rosemary and pine. She felt as if she’d stumbled into paradise.

‘The doctor will examine you now.’

Allegra turned to see a stern-looking, white-haired man with an old-fashioned black bag standing in the doorway, and her heart sank. Determined to be as accommodating as possible, she submitted to a battery of routine checks while Rafael watched.

‘I really am fine,’ she said as the doctor tucked his stethoscope away. ‘Everything’s fine.’

‘Well?’ Rafael turned to the doctor for his verdict, and Allegra gritted her teeth. Since when had she become incapable of speaking for herself?

‘She’s a little dehydrated,’ the man said. ‘And she needs some rest.’

Rafael nodded. ‘Thank you.’ He turned to Allegra once the man had thankfully left. ‘I’ll have Maria bring up some water. You should drink at least two glasses.’

Allegra folded her arms. ‘I’m capable of making my own decisions, Rafael.’

His mouth thinned as he arched one dark eyebrow. ‘You are fighting me on this small matter?’

‘Yes, because you’re treating me like an idiot. I don’t need to be fussed over by a doctor every moment.’

‘I simply wanted you to be checked out after our travel. What is the problem?’

She stared at him, frustrated, because he made it sound so reasonable. It was his attitude she didn’t like, the high-handed way he dealt with everything. With her.

‘The problem is you’re being aggravatingly bossy.’

‘I am caring for our child.’

‘Which is very important to you, I know. I get that, trust me. But you can’t...you can’t be in control of everything.’

Rafael bit back a response and then looked away. ‘This is important to me, Allegra,’ he said after a moment. ‘I don’t want to fail in my duty as a father. Please...indulge me.’

A bleak look had come into his eyes, and it made her wonder what hidden hurts Rafael was keeping from her. Or was she just being fanciful, and he was simply an arrogant, autocratic, domineering man? From the obdurate look on his face Allegra knew she’d get nowhere pressing the point now.

‘Fine, I’ll indulge you,’ she said wearily. ‘At least in this.’

* * *

Several hours later she woke from a deep sleep and stretched languorously. Long, golden rays of late afternoon sunshine slid across the floor. She’d been asleep for hours, so clearly she’d needed the rest.

Allegra got out of bed and went to explore the huge en suite bathroom, enjoying the enormous marble walk-in shower. Dressed in a strappy sundress, her hair damp and curling about her shoulders, she headed downstairs in search of Rafael.

She didn’t find him, but she did see Maria in the kitchen, and the housekeeper bustled around to have Allegra sit at the round kitchen table and then plied her with iced tea and fig cookies.

‘Something smells delicious,’ Allegra said.

‘Ah, it is a welcome feast for Signor Vitali and his lovely lady,’ Maria said with a smile. ‘It has been a long time since I have been able to cook so much!’

‘Is it?’ Allegra nibbled a cookie, wondering how much she could press the housekeeper for information. ‘Has Rafael not had...guests here before?’

Maria gave her a shrewdly knowing look. ‘Signor Vitali has never had anyone here before. He has always been a very solitary man. Salvatore and I have served him for more than ten years.’ She smiled fondly. ‘He worked so hard, he had little time for anything else.’ She nodded meaningfully towards Allegra’s bump. ‘Perhaps now that will change.’

‘Perhaps.’ Although Rafael had certainly immersed himself in work since he’d come back into her life. Despite his insistence that he wanted to be an involved father, Allegra wondered if he simply wanted to be in control.

Replete with cookies and tea, she wandered out of the kitchen to explore the villa—and find Rafael. She discovered the lounge she’d seen earlier and a media room with a huge flat-screen TV and a state-of-the-art sound system. A dining room with a table that easily seated twelve was empty, as was a smaller room with a cosy table for four. She slipped through the French windows onto the terrace that overlooked the infinity pool, breathing in the scents of bougainvillea and rosemary. The sun was setting, painting the sky with livid violet streaks, and she heard birds chirping in the tall, stately firs that surrounded the villa on most sides, the mountains towering above them.

But where was Rafael—and why did she want to find him so badly? Perhaps he intended for them to live separate lives here in Sicily, a prospect that filled her with a treacherous disappointment. She wanted to know what their future was going to look like...and, she realised, she wanted to know Rafael. It had been all right to maintain a holding pattern while they’d waited for the amnio results, but now they were meant to have some kind of life together. Rafael was insisting they marry, and while that prospect still filled her with fear, it also made her want to get to know the man she might be spending the rest of her life with, at least a little. So where was he?

Maria had started to serve dinner in the smaller dining room, several fragrant dishes that made Allegra’s mouth water. Then she noticed the place setting for one.

‘Is Rafael not eating?’ she asked, hating how small her voice sounded.

Maria made a face. ‘Signor Vitali said he needed to work tonight.’

So the feast was for her alone. Allegra sat at the table and nibbled course after delicious course, feeling sorry both for herself and for Maria, who had gone to so much effort for her employer. Why had Rafael refused to come down for dinner? Surely his work couldn’t be that important. Was he avoiding her on purpose, setting the pattern for their married lives?

Loneliness swamped her at the thought. Already she was losing that sense of independence she’d maintained for so long. She wanted Rafael with her, needed his presence in a way that made her feel unsettled. She wasn’t used to needing people. Depending on them. Perhaps it was better this way...except it didn’t feel better.

At the end of the meal she took her decaf coffee out onto the terrace, curling up on a lounger as she watched the stars appear in the sky, like diamond pinpricks in a bolt of black velvet. He was avoiding her, she acknowledged with leaden certainty. He had to be. To absent himself all afternoon and then through the evening... He was telling her how he intended things to be, and Allegra didn’t like it. If he was going to leave her alone, she might as well have stayed in New York.

She liked it even less when she woke up the next morning to an empty-feeling house. Maria was in town at the market and Salvatore was outside, working in the garden. Rafael was nowhere to be found.

She decided to go for a walk—only to be told, regretfully, by Salvatore that Signor Vitali had forbidden her from leaving the formal gardens, as the mountainside was steep and dangerous. Allegra looked at the high stone walls, the whole world shimmering out of reach, and realised she was truly trapped.

She stalked inside the villa, fury rising in her like a tidal wave. So she’d been brought to this beautiful estate to be kept as a prisoner. She didn’t know what hurt most—Rafael’s controlling attitude or his deliberate absence. She stewed for most of the morning while Rafael kept his distance, and then finally she’d had enough. She’d find him, and, by heaven, she’d tell him what was on her mind.

‘Where is Signor Vitali?’ she asked Salvatore, who looked shocked by her strident tone.

‘He is working...’

‘Where?’

‘In his study, but he does not wish to be disturbed.’

‘Perhaps he needs to be disturbed,’ Allegra answered. ‘Could you please tell me where his study is?’

‘I don’t think—’

‘Tell her, Salvatore,’ Maria said quietly, coming into the room behind Allegra. ‘She is carrying his child. She deserves to talk to him. And Signor Vitali...he needs company too.’

With a shrug of his thin shoulders Salvatore pointed upstairs. ‘The top floor. A room on its own.’

Allegra stalked upstairs, her anger giving her a boldness she hadn’t known she’d possessed. A narrow, twisting staircase at the end of the corridor led to a single room on the villa’s top floor, its heavy, oak door shut fast. She knocked on the door hard enough to bruise her knuckles.

After a pause she heard Rafael’s gruff voice. ‘Salvatore?’

‘No. Allegra.’ She turned the handle, gratified when it opened, and walked into the room.

Rafael’s study was spacious, with wide windows on three sides offering stunning views of the mountains. A huge mahogany desk took up the centre of the room, and Rafael sat at it, his eyes narrowed, his mouth compressed.

Allegra planted her hands on her hips as she faced him. ‘If I’d known you were going to imprison me here, I wouldn’t have agreed to come.’

‘Imprison?’ Rafael arched one eyebrow. ‘I’d hardly call this a prison.’

‘I’m serious, Rafael. Since we’ve arrived you haven’t shown your face once—’

‘I have much work to catch up on.’

Allegra hesitated for a second, wondering if she was overreacting. Wondering why she wanted his company so much, why she felt so hurt. Then she took a deep breath and ploughed on. ‘So why can’t I even take a walk?’

Rafael’s nostrils flared. ‘These are simply measures to ensure your safety.’

‘I’m not made of glass,’ Allegra burst out. ‘I’m not going to break.’

For a second Rafael’s face contorted, and then he looked away. ‘You don’t know that,’ he said quietly. ‘Anything could happen, Allegra.’ His voice went hoarse. ‘Anything.’

Allegra stared at him in confusion, her heart twisting at the look of bleak despair on his face. ‘Rafael...’ she asked softly. ‘What is it that you’re so afraid of?’

‘I’m not...’ he let out a shuddering breath, wiping his hand over his face ‘...losing you. Losing our child.’ He turned away, dropping his hand, the set of his shoulders resolute once more, that brief glimpse of raw vulnerability gone. ‘We came close to losing this baby, Allegra, or at least thinking we were going to lose it. Him. I don’t ever want to feel that again.’

She stared at him, wishing she understood more. Wishing she knew how to reach him. ‘You can’t control everything, you know,’ she said quietly. ‘You can’t prevent accidents from happening, or just life. I need to live, Rafael—’

‘You are living,’ he cut her off dismissively. ‘Enjoy the villa and all it has to offer. Lounge by the pool.’

‘I don’t want to spend every day lounging.’

His expression closed up. ‘I really do not know what you are complaining about.’ And with that he angled his body away from her, pulling a sheaf of papers towards him. So she was being dismissed, like some unruly servant. He wouldn’t even look at her any more. This was how Rafael dealt with people. He wasn’t overprotective, he was compulsively controlling. And it hurt to realise she was just a cog to him, something to move and manipulate accordingly. Stupidly it hurt, because she hadn’t wanted to let herself care. Yet here she was, caring. Hurting.

She stood there for a moment, watching him work, seeing the way he’d completely blanked her out. It was as if she no longer existed. His gaze didn’t flick to her once.

She felt the fury rise again, but with it something far worse. Despair. She couldn’t fight this. Arguing with Rafael, just trying to have a reasonable discussion with him, was like battering her head—her heart—against a brick wall. Because now that she was here, now that she’d come into his life and brought him into hers, she wanted more than this. And she had no idea how to get it.

Without a word she turned on a heel and left his study, slamming the door behind her. The loud thwack as it crashed against the doorframe was satisfying even though she knew the gesture was pointless and childish.

She walked downstairs, fury still pounding through her, along with the despair. She wrenched open the French doors to the terraced gardens, causing Maria to bustle in from the kitchen, her expression alarmed.

‘Signorina—’

‘I’m just going for a walk.’

Maria frowned. ‘Signor Vitali—’

‘I don’t care about Signor Vitali.’ Allegra cut her off, wishing it were true, and she walked out of the house.