Читать книгу Modern Romance September 2017 Books 5 - 8 - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 18

CHAPTER EIGHT

ALLEGRA STOOD IN the centre of their hotel suite, her whole body trembling. As his wife? The words he’d spoken moments ago in the limo reverberated through her. With no choice but to get out of the car and deal with this head on, she’d stalked up to their suite and then turned to face him, every atom of her being radiating outrage. Shock. Fear. Rafael, on the other hand, looked cool, calm and completely in control.

It was impossible. He was impossible. How could he issue such an outrageous command without batting an eyelid? Even now Rafael was shrugging off his jacket and heading for his laptop, as if it were a normal business day. As if their whole world hadn’t shifted on its axis.

‘Rafael.’ Her voice trembled along with her body. ‘You can’t... I can’t...’

He didn’t even look at her as he answered, ‘You can and you will.’

‘Just like that?’ Her voice rang out. ‘You want me to leave everything and marry you? That was your proposal?’

Irritation flickered across his face as he turned to her. ‘Don’t be melodramatic.’

‘Don’t be insane,’ she snapped, well and truly angry now. Anger felt better and stronger than the fear that surged right beneath it. Because even now she was afraid Rafael would win. He was richer, stronger, more powerful. And so far he’d achieved everything he’d wanted. Nothing stood in his way, and yet Allegra clung to her ground. She had to, because the alternative... ‘I’m not marrying you.’

Rafael regarded her levelly for a long, tense moment. Then he shrugged and went to sit down on one of the plush sofas. ‘Fine, let’s talk about it. What are your alternatives, do you suppose?’

On shaky legs Allegra moved over to the sofa opposite him and sat down. ‘To stay in New York and live my life.’

He arched an eyebrow. ‘Working in a café for most likely little over minimum wage, and living in a studio flat in an insalubrious neighbourhood?’

‘It is not insalubrious,’ Allegra snapped. ‘For heaven’s sake, talk about being melodramatic.’

‘I am not having my child raised in a near-slum.’

All right, maybe her street wasn’t the fanciest in Manhattan, but it was hardly a slum. ‘You’re being ridiculous.’ In all sorts of ways.

‘And I think you’re being ridiculous,’ Rafael countered coolly. ‘What about your job, Allegra? How do you propose to continue working with a newborn baby, one that will have particular and crucial needs at the start, and maybe after that as well?’

‘I’ll take time off, naturally.’ She lifted her chin, determined to remain strong. Defiant. She’d meet every challenge he threw at her.

‘And do you get maternity benefits with your job? Proper healthcare coverage?’ He sat back against the sofa cushions, the twist of his mouth belying the dangerous emotion she saw sparking in his eyes. Despite his level tone, his reasonable demeanour, she had the feeling that he was angry. Very angry.

He was also right. Her job provided healthcare, but it wasn’t the best coverage and she wouldn’t get much time off after their son was born, plus she couldn’t afford the kind of childcare she knew she’d need. All things she hadn’t yet had time to think about, much less sort out. She looked away, silently fuming, saying nothing.

‘You clearly haven’t thought this through, Allegra. Unless you intended to rely on your mother’s scant generosity?’

‘No.’ The word was squeezed out of her throat. She hadn’t thought through all these details, at least not enough, mainly because she’d just been trying to struggle through her pregnancy.

And now, thanks to Rafael, she had to think about them immediately. Allegra took a deep breath, trying to steady her jangling nerves. ‘I’ll admit there are some difficulties,’ she said as calmly as she could. ‘But that doesn’t mean the only other option is living in Sicily as...as your wife.’ A blush swept over her entire body at that thought. Marriage. In all the possible scenarios she’d envisioned, that one had never even crossed her mind. Yet Rafael now seemed to think it was a foregone conclusion.

‘Then name one option that would be acceptable to us both,’ Rafael stated.

‘I can’t,’ Allegra retorted, ‘because you’re being so unreasonable.’

‘I’m being unreasonable?’ Rafael leaned forward, his tawny eyes glittering. ‘What if you are the one who is being unreasonable, Allegra? You seem to think it is your right not to have to make any changes or adjustments to your life circumstances for the sake of your child. Is that reasonable?’

‘I didn’t say—’

‘You want to stay in your tiny apartment, walking up and down six flights every day?’

‘Plenty of women—’

‘Where would you even keep a stroller? Or a cot? That place is minuscule. There isn’t room for a baby, and you know it.’

Her lips trembled and she pressed them together. ‘I could get a bigger apartment, then.’

‘Can you afford it? Or are you expecting me to pay for it—to fund your freewheeling lifestyle while I take whatever scraps I can? What do you think is going to happen?’ Rafael demanded, his voice like the lash of a whip. ‘I fly over to New York for occasional visits? I don’t get to know my son until he’s school age? Impossible. I refuse.’ He glared at her, his whole body radiating both determination and rage. ‘That is not how I intend to be a father.’

Allegra glared back at him, caught between misery and fury. All right, yes, she saw there were problems with her unthought-out plan. Of course she did. But she hated being railroaded into a huge decision, with Rafael expecting her to acquiesce instantly. Marriage...she’d never considered it. Never wanted to be that close to a person, that vulnerable—and why would Rafael?

But of course that wasn’t the kind of marriage he was talking about. Even so Allegra couldn’t countenance it. Couldn’t let Rafael have that much power over her. Because, she knew, it would be power. Already he affected her too much. Made her want too much.

‘You’re not being fair,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m only four and a half months pregnant, and I’ve barely been able to keep a mouthful of food down until this last week. I’m sorry if I haven’t worked out every last detail of my plan yet. And anyway,’ she added, her voice rising, ‘I didn’t even know you were going to be involved at all until a few weeks ago.’

‘Which begs the question why didn’t you tell me,’ Rafael returned, clearly unmoved by her words. ‘I asked you specifically to tell me if you were pregnant. I told you I wanted to be involved in my child’s life. And you chose to ignore me.’

‘You also booted me out of your bed,’ Allegra returned. ‘Is that the kind of man I want in my child’s life?’

‘Now you have no choice.’ Angry colour appeared in slashes on Rafael’s high cheekbones. ‘And no matter how I treated you on that night, Allegra, you had no right to deny me my child. There is a world of difference between ending a one-night stand rather abruptly and refusing me access to my son.’ His jaw was bunched, his mouth a hard line. ‘Even you should acknowledge that.’

Allegra stared at him, chilled to the very bone by the dangerous glitter in his eyes, the harsh, implacable certainty in the set of his features. The man who had treated her so tenderly, who had cradled her last night was gone. Vanished, as if he’d never been, and perhaps he hadn’t. Perhaps that Rafael had been no more than an expedient mirage. She knew what it was like for people to change. To show their true colours.

‘And yet you want me to marry you,’ she stated shakily. She felt sick and dizzy, her skin clammy and cold. All the relief at their son’s good health had drained away, leaving a dark-edged terror in its wake. The future loomed, menacing and more and more certain. Rafael would not be dissuaded.

‘Marrying me is the sensible option,’ Rafael answered. ‘The only option. I want to be involved in my son’s life, Allegra. Completely involved. He’s my heir—’

‘Your heir? It’s not as if you’re some king,’ she interjected. Rafael’s gaze narrowed.

‘I am CEO of a multi-billion-euro empire. I intend to pass that on to my son, raise him to follow me into what would become a family business. He is my heir, and he is going to be raised in Sicily by both his parents.’

Staring at him, seeing how utterly implacable he looked, Allegra realised how trapped she really was. Rafael had all the power, all the money. If he wanted to—and at this point she wouldn’t put it past him—he could use the force of his influence to take complete custody of their child. She could resist all she wanted or dared, but she’d still lose in the end. Maybe even lose her own child.

She pressed her hands to her temples, a crashing headache beginning its aching pulse. ‘I need to think,’ she muttered. ‘And I need to lie down. I’m tired, and not everything is certain, Rafael. The doctor said I’d have to undergo some tests later this week.’

She rose from the sofa, stumbling slightly, and in one quick, fluid movement, Rafael rose to grasp her arm and steady her.

‘Rest is a good idea,’ he murmured. ‘I’ll make you some herbal tea to help settle you. Chamomile is what you like, isn’t it?’

She glanced up at him in confused disbelief. Who was this man? ‘Don’t do this,’ she whispered. ‘Don’t be horrible one moment and kind the next. I don’t understand it. I can’t take it.’ Not again. With what felt like superhuman effort she shook off his arm and walked alone to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Rafael stared at the closed door and swore under his breath. That had not gone as he’d hoped or wanted. Yet what else could he have done? He wasn’t going to negotiate, not about something as important as this. He certainly wasn’t going to settle for some custody arrangement. And trying to woo Allegra with false words and oozing sentiment had felt like a waste of time and, well, wrong.

When he’d learned their child would be healthy all his protective instincts had risen to a clamour inside him. He needed Allegra and their son with him. He needed to be in control. He needed to make sure nothing went wrong. Things would be different this time. He would be different. But first he had to get her to agree.

Impatient and yet resolute, Rafael stalked to the kitchen and switched on the electric kettle. He’d make her the promised cup of tea, at least, to show he wasn’t a complete boor.

But when he tapped on Allegra’s door and the quietly opened it, he found she was already fast asleep, her Titian hair spread across the pillow, one hand tucked under her cheek, golden-red lashes feathering her pale cheeks. She looks so vulnerable and lovely it made something in him twist and tighten, and he promised right then that he’d make it up to her, to them. They could make this work. They would.

* * *

Several hours later Allegra opened the door to her bedroom and appeared, yawning and sleepy. Rafael turned from where he’d been trying to do work on his laptop and mostly failing.

Now he tried for a neutral expression as he watched her stretch, the thin T-shirt pulling across her breasts. ‘Did you sleep well?’

‘Yes, surprisingly. I didn’t realise quite how tired I was.’ She went to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water, her hair tumbling about her face in corkscrew curls, her face now set in serious lines. ‘You asked me what my life would look like if I stayed in New York,’ she said as she curled up on the sofa opposite him and took a sip of water. ‘So now I want to ask you the same thing. What would my—our—life look like if I come with you to Sicily?’

Relief and hope expanded in his chest, made his head light. She was going to agree. He kept his expression steady, his voice mild as he answered. ‘We would live on my estate in the mountains above Palermo. It is spacious and comfortable, with every luxury to hand. A large garden, a pool, every amusement for a growing little boy.’

Allegra nodded slowly, looking less impressed than Rafael had expected or wanted her to be. ‘And what about schooling?’ she asked. ‘When the time comes? And friends?’

‘Of course those as well,’ he answered. ‘There are plenty of good schools in the area and if we could not find one that was to our satisfaction, I would be willing to consider other options.’

She arched a delicate eyebrow. ‘Such as?’

Rafael shrugged, his mind racing. He felt that Allegra was looking for something from him and he didn’t know what it was. ‘We could relocate, within reason. To Rome or Milan, perhaps. I have offices in both cities.’

‘Or New York?’

He hesitated, sensing a test. ‘The majority of my business is in Europe,’ he said finally. ‘A relocation to New York is not out of the question for some time in the future, but not now.’

She nodded, her lips pursed, and Rafael waited. ‘What about me?’ she finally asked. ‘What would my life look like in Sicily, Rafael?’

He hesitated, wanting to say the right thing—but what was it? ‘You will need for nothing,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Clothes, jewels, whatever you like. They’re yours.’ Her mouth twisted and he realised he’d said the wrong thing. Allegra had not been particularly impressed or even interested in clothes or jewels, as far as he could see. So what did she want?

The women he’d dallied with in the past had been only interested in material possessions, a diamond bangle, a funded shopping spree in a designer boutique, but he knew Allegra was different. ‘And of course you can make the house your own. Decorate it as you wish. Garden...’ What else might she want to do? ‘Music,’ Rafael said at last. ‘You can have your own music room. Play as much as you want. Host concerts, even.’ He was practically babbling, and was irritated with himself for being so pathetically eager. She regarded him quietly, saying nothing, offering no encouragement.

‘Why don’t you tell me what you want?’ Rafael bit out. ‘Instead of looking disappointed because I can’t read your mind?’

She flinched at his tone and he silently cursed himself. What did she want from him? He could give her everything. Everything but love. Rafael stiffened, appalled at the thought. Was that what Allegra was holding out for? Some ridiculous, romantic fairy-tale? Surely not.

‘I don’t know what I want, Rafael,’ Allegra said quietly. ‘This is all so unexpected. I haven’t had time to process any of it properly. I’m still reeling from the news about the amnio results.’ She let out a weary sigh. ‘I know you don’t want to, but please give me a little time to catch up.’

‘Fine.’ He bit the word out, still tense. ‘But I do need to return to Palermo as soon as possible.’

‘Then maybe you should return and I’ll come later,’ Allegra countered. ‘Why must we rush things? We could at least get to know one another first...’

‘With me in Palermo and you here? No.’ Rafael shook his head, resolute. She would just find an excuse to stay in New York. The thought, stupidly, hurt. ‘I want you where I can see you, Allegra. Where I can protect you and take care of you and our son.’ His voice thickened, much to his shame. ‘That is important to me.’

Her expression softened as her silvery gaze swept over him. ‘You have far more of a protective streak than I ever realised.’

‘I do. I don’t want to let you or our child down.’

‘And you’re afraid you will?’

‘No.’ He rose from his desk, determined to end this conversation. It had all got stupidly emotional, and he hated that. He didn’t do emotion. It was for the weak. He’d learned that to his eternal cost with his father, when he’d goaded him with his childish complaints. When he hadn’t been able to stop what had happened next. Enough. There was nothing to be gained by thinking of that now. ‘I will never let that happen, Allegra. At least in that, you can trust me.’

* * *

Allegra sat down across from her mother, her expression resigned and set.

‘You’re what?’ Jennifer Wells screeched.

‘I’m going to Sicily,’ Allegra answered. ‘With the father of my child.’

‘But you don’t even know him.’

‘I know he’ll take care of me and our son.’ That was at least one aspect of Rafael’s character that she was sure of. It had been three days since Rafael had issued his ultimatum, and Allegra had spent those days thinking long and hard about her future. Their future. When the further tests with a neonatal cardiologist had revealed the extent of their son’s heart defect, which wasn’t as simple as they’d hoped but still within the realm of good news, her choice felt even more limited.

She couldn’t do this alone. She’d lived most of her life in determined independence, chosen isolation, loneliness, but she couldn’t do this by herself, and she didn’t even want to. But even more importantly she didn’t want Rafael or her son to miss out. She’d been denied her father’s presence in her life from the time she was twelve. Could she wilfully deny her son the chance to know his father, and Rafael the chance to know his son?

It would be the height of selfish cruelty to choose self-preservation over her family. Because it was a matter of self-preservation. Rafael held a power over her, one she didn’t fully understand. She was attracted to him physically, of course, but she’d felt stirrings of something even deeper. When he held her...when he’d felt the baby kick...if she let herself, she could start to care for him, and that would be a disaster. Because there was every chance Rafael would walk away from her as her father had. But he wouldn’t, she prayed, walk away from their son.

And so she’d told Rafael she would go to Sicily, but she wouldn’t marry him—not yet, anyway. They needed to get to know one another before she made actual vows, agreed to that level of commitment. To her surprise, Rafael had acquiesced. Tersely, but still. She’d been half expecting him to frog-march her down the aisle.

Then yesterday she’d gone to her apartment and packed up what she’d wanted to take, which had been surprisingly little. Looking around the tiny space, she wondered at how she had ever thought she could have managed there with a baby. And yet how she was going to manage in this strange new life in Sicily? So much was unknown.

‘I can’t believe you’re doing this, Allegra.’ Jennifer’s voice rang out in censure. ‘This stranger...running away with him? Have you thought this through at all?’

‘Yes, and it makes sense,’ Allegra answered. ‘Considering the alternatives.’ She felt weary right down to her toes, and tomorrow evening they were leaving for Palermo. She’d already handed in her notice for her job, said goodbye to Anton, who had been her friend and boss for nearly ten years. He’d kissed her on both cheeks with tears in his eyes.

‘Is Vitali being...difficult?’ Jennifer asked after a moment. She looked on edge.

‘Pragmatic,’ Allegra said, even as she wondered why she was being loyal to Rafael. Perhaps because, in his own hard way, he was being loyal to her. And whether she liked it or not, they were a family now. ‘As am I.’

‘You remember what I told you about his father?’ Jennifer said, and now she sounded diffident.

‘He did business with my father and it didn’t work out, you said.’ But it was more than that. Blood on his hands. What had happened? How much did it matter? She couldn’t ask Rafael now; things between them were tense enough.

‘Yes, and your father didn’t trust him.’ Jennifer expelled a breath. ‘I don’t know the details, of course, but there has to be a reason for that. I got the sense that there might have been something...’ She paused, pursing her lips. ‘Criminal involved.’

‘Criminal?’ Allegra stared at her, appalled by this new revelation. ‘What do you mean exactly?’

Jennifer shrugged, her gaze siding away. ‘I don’t really know, but soon after they did business Vitali went broke. He lost everything, and narrowly avoided prison. That’s...that’s all I know. Perhaps it’s better buried in the past.’

It was more than Allegra had ever known, and underscored how little she knew Rafael or his history. How little he’d told her. She’d have to ask sometime, and while she didn’t look forward to that conversation, she needed to know what she was getting into. What their child was getting into. She needed to trust Rafael...yet how could she, when she didn’t know him? When she didn’t like to trust anyone?

‘That might be so,’ Allegra told her mother, ‘but Rafael has his own business and I really don’t think it involves any criminal activities.’ At least she hoped not.

‘But you can’t be sure.’

‘No.’ She couldn’t, Allegra knew with a pang of true fear, be sure about anything.