Читать книгу The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting your high-need child from birth to five - Martha Sears - Страница 28

“He’s going to be a handful”, one midwife said to another as they tried to console newborn baby George. You can often spot high-need babies in the hospital. Even at a few hours of age, George had an instinct about what he needed and the persistence required to get it. The cry of a high-need baby is not a mere request; it’s an urgent demand. These babies put more energy into everything they do. They cry loudly, feed voraciously, laugh with gusto, and protest more forcefully if their needs are not met. Because they feel everything so deeply, they react more powerfully if their feelings are disturbed. “If I don’t feed him as soon as he fusses, he falls apart” is a common statement from the mother of such a baby.

You can read the intensity of the baby’s feelings in her body language. The fists are clenched, back arched, muscles tensed, as if ready for action.

I set up a cradle in our room so we could hear Mara’s cries at night. It quickly became clear that not only would we be able to hear her, so would everyone on the block. Mara was LOUD! When she started crying, it would quickly escalate. The intensity and shrillness sounded as if something must be very wrong. We would feed her, burp her, change her, rock her, walk with her, but sometimes nothing seemed to help. After a while, I found myself going into overdrive instantly whenever she cried, because I knew if it got out of control she’d quickly disintegrate, and it would take her a long time to come back around. I became obsessive in trying to prevent her from getting upset in any way because there was hell to pay if she did. She was a type A personality right from birth.

Intense babies become intense toddlers, characterized by one word: “driven”. They seem in high gear all the time. Their drive to explore and experiment with everything within reach leaves no household item safe. Some high-need toddlers manoeuvre around the house carefully, but most do not. Most of these babies run headlong toward a desired object, seemingly oblivious of everything in their path. Soon it dawns on you that the same behavioural trait that can exhaust you will also delight you. The same drive that gets your toddler into trouble also leads him to a level of creativity that other children may not venture to reach. Your job is to help him drive carefully on roads that he can handle.