Читать книгу The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting your high-need child from birth to five - Martha Sears - Страница 29

We believe that most high-need children are born with this trait. In fact, all babies have high needs for being held and comforted, but some babies are able to express their needs more strongly than others because they haven’t shut down (withdrawn) due to the trauma of separation. Some critics believe that parents make their child needy by how they parent. The great majority of parents we have counselled brought their high-need babies into the world and followed their own intuitive parenting to give their child the level of care he needed. This is healthy behaviour which will work to the advantage of parent and child. On occasion, however, we see a “helicopter mother”, who hovers over the child and anxiously responds within a millisecond to the child’s every whim. This is unhealthy for both mother and child. The mother’s needs for intimacy are being met by her doting over her child, and the child uses the perceived neediness to control the mother. In extreme cases, the child is crippled by not learning self-management skills. This parent needs professional counselling.