Читать книгу The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting your high-need child from birth to five - Martha Sears - Страница 30

This feature of high-need babies, and its cousin, hypertonic, are directly related to the quality of intensity. The term “hypertonic” refers to muscles that are frequently tensed and ready to go, tight and waiting to explode into action. The muscles and mind of high-need children are seldom relaxed or still. “Even when he was a newborn, I could feel the wiry in him”, one mother related. “She hated being swaddled”, another mother volunteered. Most infants, even high-need ones, welcome being wrapped in a blanket, worn in a sling, or draped over your shoulder to mould into the contour of your body, but there are some high-need babies who seem to shun containment and physical restraint. They stiffen their limbs and arch their backs when you try to hold them, and they are frequently seen doing back dives in your lap, turning even breast-feeding into a gymnastic event.

Parents, remember that, like all the words used to describe high-need children, the term “hyperactive” is not a negative tag. At what point a normally active child becomes a hyperactive child is a judgment call. Calling your busy toddler hyperactive does not mean he will be burdened with this label forever, or that a school psychologist will someday tag him “hyperactive”. This term just describes how your child acts, without making any judgment about whether it’s good or bad. Hyperactive in an infant or toddler is not a disorder, it’s a description.

“Hyper” is often in the eye of the child-watcher. Activity level is relative to the company the child keeps. Place an intense, creative, enthusiastic child in the midst of a group of more reserved children, and the doer gets tagged “hyper”. Also, the activity level of the child depends on the setting. A child may play quietly in the comfortable, known environment of his own home, yet be frantic and undirected in a playgroup full of strangers.

“There’s no such thing as a still shot”, said one photographer-father of a high-need baby. “His motor seems stuck in fast idle”, another father commented. These motor traits are part of the baby’s personality. They may be hard to live with at times, but this restlessness is not necessarily a negative trait. Many highly creative, world-changing people were labelled hyperactive as children.