Читать книгу The Good Behaviour Book: How to have a better-behaved child from birth to age ten - Martha Sears - Страница 44

Kids do annoying things – not maliciously, but because they don’t think like adults. You are likely to have a miserable day if you let every kid-created mess bother you. As you enter the kitchen, you see your two-year-old at the sink splashing water all over the floor. You could sink into a “poor me” mind-set: “Oh, no! Now I have to clean up the mess. Why does she do this to me?” Here’s a healthier choice. Instead of first considering your own inconvenience, immediately click into your child’s viewpoint: “This is fun. Look at all the different things you can do with dishes and water.” You’ll remember that what she is doing is developmentally appropriate. She’s exploring and learning. You’ll also realize that because two-year-olds get so engrossed in their activity, she is likely to throw a tantrum if you try to remove her. If you wait a few minutes, she’ll go on to something else; and, besides, water cleans up easily anyway; no big deal. She won’t do this anymore when she’s six. You’ll find yourself smiling. Getting out of yourself and into your child saves mental strain. You don’t have to clean up the mess in your mind along with the water on the floor.

During the second year your baby’s temperament will become more apparent. “Bubbly”, “daredevil”, “determined”, “cautious”, and “adventurous” are labels toddlers acquire. Children come wired differently, and different kinds of children need different kinds of discipline. Matthew, a relatively cautious toddler, seemed to think out a task carefully before attempting it. And if he got himself in too deep he would not protest being rescued. Our two-year-old Lauren came wired with a different programme. She sees an enticing gadget on top of the kitchen counter and she is willing to risk life and limb to get it. Because of her personality, we don’t often let her out of our sight. Her drive helps her keep going, to get up after falling, to persist after being told “no”, to struggle with words to make her needs known. It also inspires her to climb higher if the biscuit tin has been moved to the top shelf. The parents’ task, in the words of one frazzled toddler manager, is to “keep my child from breaking his neck, and yet encourage him to learn.”