Читать книгу Power Cues - Nick Morgan - Страница 18

You’ve probably been told a thousand times that any good meeting with someone new begins with a firm handshake. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a firm handshake, but in fact the important part of a meeting has nothing to do with the handshake and everything to do with the attitude that you bring to the meeting.

Before you say anything or even reach the other person, you telegraph, with a thousand subtle cues, how you’re feeling about yourself, and how you feel about the other person. Indeed, the relationship has largely already been set by the time you’re close enough to shake hands. Hand shaking just seals the deal. How you stand, how you move your arms, what your posture conveys, the expression on your face, the way you’re walking, and yes, what you’re wearing all affect the relationship more powerfully than that poor overstressed handshake.

Finally, generalizing from all the bad communications classes you’ve taken and coaches you’ve worked with, there are no secret power gestures or ways to position your hands or face so that strong men salute, women swoon, and everyone runs to do your bidding.

Individual gestures simply aren’t that powerful. Really. Let that one go. Lose the steepled fingers or the enigmatic smile or the T-bar move. None of those do much more than occupy your conscious mind a little too much, distracting you from what you should be thinking about.³

So it’s time to let go of the old rules and learn what’s really going on. Let’s begin with those much misunderstood gestures.