Читать книгу Let It Be So. A Book About Unconscious Human Behavior - Rauf Kuliyev - Страница 6

When my wife brought a baby girl from the orphanage, I almost left her. At that time I sensed much fear in me. I said to her, I couldn’t live like this, and left. My wife named the kid Sonia. At that time Sonia was only one year old.

I hadn’t a willingness to accept that child, and I thought: «How could this happen to me. I’m a healthy man, and I will have children of my own. Why do I need this child? It is not my destiny. I should have own son or daughter.» My parents were also against me accepting and bringing up that child.

It was very hard for me to take this step because something’s been holding me back. The egoistic state of consciousness that ruled my life totally. It’s the core reason why so many people live without children. Because of their beliefs, they don’t even know that they have a chance. They have such a great opportunity – to adopt a child and to raise it. But they can’t make a decision to do that.

What kept me and why I couldn’t do that first step? It’s simple – I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t even expect the love would come to my life, and therefore I behaved like that. I have become a hostage of my beliefs. No one could help me because to talk about this is impossible.

This joy I can feel only through my experience. My thinking and imagination can’t help me in this. You can’t know what honey is if you haven’t tasted it. It’s the same in this case. So it’s necessary to spend some time with a child and then most likely you would feel love as you’ve never felt it before. It’s the place where all doubts disappear because this is direct knowledge.

Many people don’t have children of their own, but in this case, they have an excellent chance appeared in their life – they can adopt someone else’s child. It’s an opportunity to get something that can’t be explained by words. When you have your own baby it’s wonderful, but when you start raising someone else’s child your life may change drastically.

The thing is that if you bring up your own son or daughter, in your relationship with the child to a greater or lesser extent your ego is involved. In this case, you know that it’s «my» baby and the ego prevents the expression of genuine love for the child. But when you bring up an adopted child, the ego no longer works so much, because you already know, that this is «not my» kid. In this case, you have more chances to experience the true love without any impurities. And it, of course, pushes you into awareness. You receive a great opportunity to taste a presence.