Читать книгу Let It Be So. A Book About Unconscious Human Behavior - Rauf Kuliyev - Страница 7

When I play with my daughter on the sofa something important happens to me at these moments. Her every move generates some response in me. She likes to walk and jump on the couch. When she’s doing it, I get so much enjoyment out of it. No, it’s not pleasure, but real joy. Even if she walks on the couch and doesn’t touch me, the vibration through the sofa still reaches me and brings me the same effect. Something arises in my body, and I get incredible enjoyment out of these games. I am present in this moment, and I know that I am the initiator of that experience. It all starts with me.

For many people, it’s tough to communicate with their children, and this is like torture for them. Yes, of course, they try to hide their feelings, but they are not very good at this because you can see it even with the naked eye. Periodically, I also feel some resistance in me while playing with my daughter. It happens because of my unconsciousness. As soon as I enter a state of presence, contact with my baby becomes joyful for both of us. And now I don’t force myself and don’t say: «I have to play with my child.»

In this case, I already feel enjoyment. I begin to delve into every word of my child, and she doesn’t complain anymore. It seems that I have come in contact with her. But when I’m not present, my daughter see it and start to complain about this. Children always dissatisfied with the fact that you’re sleeping. When you are not present, you haven’t contact with your baby, and we can say you sleep. All resistance arises when you are in that state of consciousness. Of course, the kid is not satisfied, and he wants you to be with him and not somewhere else. The child constantly seeks your attention.

In our family, I mainly walk with my daughter. Once my wife took Sonia, and they went to the playground. When after walking they came home, my wife said to me: «How can you sit there with her so long? How do you do that? It’s so hard to wait for her!» I smiled because I knew what she was talking about. I knew that it must be hard for her. Unconscious people make tremendous efforts to walk with their child, but all they need at that moment is attention. You need to become present, and then your walking turns to the enjoyment.