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Richard G. Lazar, PhD, PrimeLife Magazine, December 2006

The holidays have become more special to me as the years have progressed. They represent joyful opportunities.

I love to count my blessings; I'm up to some 40 billion now. I start my “thankful year” with Thanksgiving then I climb on angel thoughts to extend the spiritual aspects of Christmas until the joy of Easter, then work my way to my next birthday in November and again to Thanksgiving. This is how I sustain my blessings. The keys to this “thankful year” are gratitude, giving and peacemaking.

The Story of Violence

Violence comes in many forms; all of them obstruct the mission of peacemaking. We can contribute to the making of peace by ending violence in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. We can make inroads to end suffering and bringing about “peace on earth, goodwill towards man” by creating an ever-expanding “violence-free zone” beginning in us. Even baby steps bring about huge changes in the lives of individuals and in the characters of communities. Steps like not yelling and screaming when frustrated, not allowing anyone we know to be abused or abusive — yes, we can and should intervene to protect those in harm’s way. What is required to end violence is consistent right thought and right action. The stories ahead are my ways.

Transforming Violence into Peace and Victory Part I

The term F-Troop refers to a TV comedy of years ago about a cavalry unit that fouled-up everything. The TV show, starring Forest Tucker, lasted a long time.

This story starts with victory goals, worthwhile goals that are good for all. In 1975, IBM decided to design, develop and produce a one-megabyte chip, one that would astound the world. I was asked by the president of this newly assembled team of engineers to work with them to build a superb team.

The victory goals were to produce this computer chip with great quality, within one year, and within a tight budget. I reviewed the track record of each of the 12 senior managers and those reporting to them. I concluded that these were not the best managers that could be picked for this vital mission.

I was told, “This is it. We need to make it work with the managers we have.” “OK,” said I. “What you gave me is a ragtag group of poor managers. In fact they each, like you, Marv, had histories of violent infighting in this plant of 6,000 people. And you, Marv, have no track record of being a winning leader of this big a project. I'm going to have to 'de-burr' you along the way. That's what your boss at corporate wants me to do-help you stop your rude, crude and violent ways or you're out of here.”

Marv stood nose-to-nose with me and said, “Yeah, but you're going to need to be tougher than me, to earn my respect.”

“Marv, that's easy,” I bragged, right back in his face. “We need to set up three long days for our first Team Excellence™ workshop. How's the next three days, offsite at a good hotel?”

“Too soon,” said Marv. I said, “Well,” said I, “Really! Cancel everything. This is top priority for you, your team and the company. Marv, it's war time, get it?”

The next morning Marv introduced me. I said, “Brothers and sisters we are on a mission never done before. We need to turn out and ship the most advanced computer chip in history and quickly. Of course it can be done. But I'm afraid you people can't do it. You are an F-Troop, the worst group of engineering managers ever assembled.”

The response came quickly with some four-letter words. “We thought you were here to motivate us. Hell with you Lazar,” they said. I said, “I'm not finished. If you don't learn my Team Excellence™ skills, you will fail in this vital mission by using your currently crummy skills.”

Arguments continued for three hours until Marv said, “Enough. Richard is right. I want commitments from each of you right now to learn the best ways ... his ways. He's right, we cannot fail.” They all signed up.

Well, this F-Troop became a great team, exceeded all the quality and schedule standards, within budget. Furthermore, they innovated so well that this chip was the industry standard for 10 years. This had never been done before. We won the Run for the Roses.

The company made tons of money, customers loved the chip and it was inside many of the world's computers. They earned promotions.

Marv and Doc and the management team made history. This victory was their most prideful in their lives. They became giving, grateful and peacemaking people. Many, including their kids, have remained my friends to this day.

Transforming Violence into Peace and Victory Part II

Thirty years ago after a management training class inside IBM, a six-foot-four-inches tall man, an engineering manager, grabbed my shoulder.

“How can I help you?” I asked.

He said, “I need your help, Doc.”

I asked, “With what?”

He said, “I get into bar fights and I want your help to stop.”

“Why are you so damned violent?” I asked.

He answered. “I don't know” “OK if I work with you will you take a lot of heavy heat from me?” said I.

“OK, I can take it,” he said.

Richard Calhoun was also a former professional football player, an 82nd Airborne Army officer and a man with a serious and scary demeanor.

“If you want some intense short-term coaching I would work with you on the phone, and if you could take some time off to visit me, and spend some time in friendly dialogue, let's go,” I said. He agreed and he was true to all his commitments and in quick order healed this violence.

Then some time later there was a moment that was a close call for violence. One day we went out on a double date. We went to a seafood restaurant that none of us knew. Four lobsters were served. All were tough. Lobsters were never inexpensive. So I called the waiter and told him. He said there was nothing he could do about it. I was incredulous and asked to see the manager. Rudely, the waiter said, “OK.” Richard excused himself and left the table. The manager came over and for the first time, I found myself fighting with the manager. He told me that he could not, and would not serve us other lobsters - too expensive - or anything else in their place unless we paid for it. So the three of us agreed to pay up and leave.

It seemed like 15 minutes until Richard returned. I said, “Hey where were you? I needed you. It looked like trouble here! I was fuming.”

He said, “I know. That's why I left. If I stayed there would be a lot more trouble. You taught me well little buddy. Let's go.” I thought to myself, even though I was anticipating a fight and expected my warrior buddy to help with the fighting, he defused it. I learned another way to choose peace, Richard's way, even though I was not wise enough to choose it at first. And I know that to this day, he has never been violent again. In fact he is the opposite: kind, helpful, a Mason, a coach to young kids and is grateful, giving and peacemaking.

What if more of our elected officials chose peace? Greater progress and profit and joy will be plentiful-not rare. China has proven that it is very profitable to stay out of conflict and war purposefully and systematically in the world. This fact must not be ignored.