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Reason to Study Negotiation #4: All Is Fair in Love and War

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Reason to Study Negotiation #4:

All Is Fair in Love and War

“Your political reputation affects how likely allies are to trust you,

and what kind of deals they’ll offer at the negotiating table. There’s

also some emotional response in there, so factions do bear grudges.

Just like the real thing.”

—Mike Simpson

I

n negotiation, as in war, there are no rules. It might seem kind of ironic that you are reading a book about the rules of negotiation, and it may seem a little comical. There are no rules, but at the same time,

there are rules to create order out of the chaos. Negotiation is a chaotic subject with unexpected outcomes and results. Rules in negotiation are often like rules in war in that whoever wins the war makes the rules.

I teach a negotiation class to businessmen and entrepreneurs who perform thirty live negotiations over three days. The students negoiate for ten houses, ten cars and ten pieces of furniture. The houses, cars, and furniture are ficticious but each negotiator puts his own real money on the line at the rate of $5 per negotiation. The winner of the negotiation, the person who gets more of what he wants, gets to take the loser’s $5 bet, and when people are negotiating for their own money, the results are fascinating. Over three days, the room of otherwise civilized businessmen wearing their best suits degenerates into an anarchy of lying, cheating, stealing, jumping on tables, slamming doors—and one student even stole another student’s play money. To an outsider, the picture I have