Читать книгу Raising Able - Susan Tordella - Страница 11

When I announced the window project, my teens said, “No!”

A different approach would have been to say in advance, “The windows need cleaning. I need your help. What day during vacation week would be best for you to help?” Such a request shows mutual respect, a building block to inviting children to contribute. Finesse is required to involve children with housework. A holistic positive parenting plan will grease the wheels and make it easier to involve children in chores.

The goal of this book is to set up a positive parenting plan that uses chores, encouragement, mutual respect, family meetings, and natural and logical consequences.

This positive parenting plan will:

1.Enhance the harmony in your home and prevent entitlement;

2.Involve children from a very young age to share in the work of running a household so you can retire as the house servant;

3.Grow children into teenagers who will make good decisions when they’re 60 miles away going 60 miles an hour.

I judge success by the third goal, to nurture children to make good independent decisions. Three times a shaky voice on the other end of the phone has said, “I've had an accident. Can you come and get me?” They each unbuckled their seatbelt and walked away from the crumpled cars, sober, when they were 60 miles away, going 60 miles an hour.

Accidents happen. Teens make not-so-great decisions all the time. Readers, plead the Fifth Amendment about your adolescence. Hopefully, teens survive and learn from their decisions and the good decisions outweigh the not-so-good decisions.

Ideally, by age 11 or 12, tweens will internalize your values. By the time they’re teens, you can count on them to make good decisions when they’re driving 60 miles an hour and you’re 60 miles away. This book is intended for parents of tots-to-teens.

The sooner you establish a positive parenting plan, the easier you will sail through adolescence – and have skill to navigate in rough waters.