Читать книгу Pink Ribbon Stories: A Celebration of Life - Tammy Miller - Страница 16

It was mid afternoon on Wednesday, November 4^th 2009, and I had just written a $615 check for breast cancer research. I raised this money from two fundraisers I did using my home-based business. I put the check in the mailbox and went to shower as my one-year old daughter napped. As I’m showering I find a lump and instantly my mind was racing. Could it, no it couldn’t…I just had a mammogram in July and it was clear.

Hourly I would check to see if it was still there and it was. How had I not felt this before? I’m sure it is nothing. My husband makes me promise that if I still feel it in the morning, I need to call my doctor immediately. Well, I called for an appointment that day and saw my doctor that day. She felt it and immediately thought it was a cyst. To be safe, she immediately got me scheduled for a mammogram which showed no lump. This was very strange because we could easily feel it. So, my doctor scheduled an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirms the lump and that it is not a cyst. The radiologist thinks fibro adenoma, but decides that we should do a biopsy to be sure. The biopsy is scheduled for a week later on Friday the 13^th.

Now it is the waiting game. I was supposed to be celebrating my 40^th birthday in 3 days with friends – football and fun – but now I’m just going through the motions pretending to smile while a dark cloud looms over my head. My husband, Dave, and I decided to only tell a few people as we do not want our children to worry until we know the facts. The biopsy came and went and now more waiting…I truly believe waiting is the most difficult part of your journey as you try to stay positive and fail miserably at it. My way to beat the waiting game was to schedule myself beyond busy with life, work, and family.

I vividly remember C-Day…the day I received the call that I had cancer – breast cancer. The doctor and I had been playing phone tag and my anxiety and stress were at an all time high. My husband, Dave came home knowing I would be receiving the return call soon. It came and the doctor told me I had breast cancer and then the next question she asks catches me off guard. My doctor asks if I’m surprised by this information that it is breast cancer. Of course I’m surprised. I just turned 40, I exercise daily, I take care of myself, I get my yearly exams and mammograms and I am feeling great! This one call changed my life forever.

I hung up the phone and began to crumble. I turned to Dave who was also crying and I instantly began to think of not living to see my kids grow up. Dave looked straight into my eyes and said I had one day to feel sorry for myself and then it was time to put my game face on, become a warrior and fight the most important battle in my life. He said to me “promise me just one thing – that you will fight this 110% every single minute of every day. If you do that, you win. And you will win!”

Let the fight begin…this was a battle for me, my husband, my three children (Sydney age 9, Matthew age 6 and Samantha age 1 at the time of diagnosis), my parents and for everyone who had touched my life. I would not let them down. We were going to beat this and this is where attitude comes into play. Attitude is EVERYTHING! We chose to BELIEVE, to fight, and to win. Losing was not an option. Each day, I chose to take the positive road and I would not allow the cancer to consume or control me. For my family and for myself I wanted to keep our schedule as normal as possible. During chemotherapy and multiple surgeries, I would continue to work, exercise and attend all my kid’s activities.

I had the genetic testing done during chemo to find out if I had the breast cancer gene. We thought this call would come in weeks, came in days. I have the gene…BRCA2 gene. 80% chance of reoccurrence and over 40% chance of getting ovarian cancer. Now we have new data and it is time for a new plan of action. The new plan…once I have recovered from chemo, I would then have a bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction and the removal of my ovaries and tubes (ophorectomy). This decision was the best and only way I knew how to fight and WIN. We kept moving forward by referring to each appointment, surgery, treatment, follow-up, etc. as a box to check on our checklist. When something was done, we checked it off our list and we were that much closer to the end.

I have been declared cancer free! I used to sweat the small stuff, but not so much anymore. I try to live in the present. I try to remain positive with everything in life. And, I fully intend to continue to pay it forward. Paying it forward is huge for me. I would have never gotten through this year long fight without the tremendous outpouring of support I received from family, friends, colleagues and even perfect strangers! I received encouraging emails and cards, thoughtful care packages, pajama grams, meals, help with my children and so much more. We all fought this battle together and WON!

A little Q & A with Pam…

Question:

What lessons have you learned along this journey?

Answer:

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be present. Attitude is everything. Trust your instincts. Pay it forward.

Question:

Was there anything along the path that surprised you?

Answer:

The biggest surprise to me was the complexity associated with diagnosing which type of breast cancer you have. Even though my mom is a two time breast cancer survivor, I had no idea about invasive, non-invasive, hormone receptive, triple negative, grades, etc. All of these things along with tumor size determine staging and treatment. When you take all of these complex factors into account, there is a myriad of options available for treatment. Also, since my mom never had chemotherapy, it never occurred to me that I might need it. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Question:

Anything you wish your doctor would’ve told you?

Answer:

We now have a pill that you can take that will cure you.

Question:

What words of encouragement do you have to offer others?

Answer:

Believe. There is always something or someone worse off than you…you are blessed.

Pam Ascencio

As written By Kathy Salloum

Pam Asencio lives in Port Matilda, PA with her husband and 3 children ages 11, 8 and 3. She is an independent representative for Silpada Designs Jewelry and can be reached at pamasencio@comcast.net. BELIEVE!!!