Читать книгу Pink Ribbon Stories: A Celebration of Life - Tammy Miller - Страница 23

I thought I knew all about cancer. I was a caregiver for three members of my immediate family all who battled cancer and who lost their battle years ago. I witnessed first-hand how cancer could turn your life upside—in fact, I felt a little guilty about being the sole survivor of my family. Then the unexpected happened – their story became my story.

On April 19, 2006 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I will never forget the doctor’s words: “I’m sorry, but you have cancer.” He went on to talk about my cancer and the plan of treatment but the more he talked the farther away his voice became as if he was in a tunnel. I was in shock. I was terrified—everyone I had known with cancer had died. Many thoughts came racing into my mind at this time--”Am I going to die too? Why me? Do I deserve this?” Then “Did I cause it? Was it the fish, the dairy, the wine or meat or nothing I did at all? Just the luck of the draw?

A simple truth became clear to me over the next few months ---cancer happens – it has no favorites or “target” groups – no age restraints or hunt for weakened victims. It strikes without preference, without warning and without reason.

I was overwhelmed by the people who had touched my life and expressed their love and support by sending me many cards, baskets of flowers, food, prayer and well wishes. I finally realized that there are so many great things about life and that God had work for me to do. But first, I needed to be strengthened and refined by personally going through this trial, not as a caregiver but as a patient. I fought very hard and focused on getting well.

I can praise God that He gave my husband, Dave the quiet courage, confidence, and strength needed to see us through this ---one of the worst times of our lives. He witnessed my immediate family members losing their battle with cancer and he lost his own brother to melanoma—a particular deadly type of skin cancer. Many people give in to fear and panic when they are presented with difficulties and at that time we were no exception. We were both scared witless.

But slowly and with great clarity I began to see things differently, as though the lens of the camera had been changed – everything looked brighter, cleaner, more colorful, more beautiful, and more precious. I realized that there are so many incredible things about life and that God had work for me to do. He strengthened Dave and me to endure and gave us what we needed to travel through our own journey with cancer.

After my surgery and treatment, I found help and support through the Breast Cancer Support Group at Mt. Nittany Medical Center. Dave drove me to the hospital to my first meeting, and said he would pick me up after the meeting was over. Close to the ending time of the meeting we heard a knock on the door of the meeting room and all the women who were attending the meeting stopped and looked over at the door – and there standing in the doorway was Dave – he came in and closed the door and said “May I stay? Breast cancer didn’t happen to just Bobbi – it happened to both of us.” I never loved him more than that moment when my sweet darling husband stepped out of his “comfort zone” to learn, support and comfort me.

I have been changed by cancer. I will never be the same again – physically, emotionally or spiritually. I realize that tomorrow is always uncertain, but each time I hug my husband or my sons and daughter and hold and love my grandchildren, I whisper a quiet prayer of thanks to God, who has helped us through it all. I am filled with gratitude for this time that I have been given.

In April I celebrated my five year anniversary of being “cancer free.” I am a new person, able to respond to life’s challenges with a spirit of “I can”--- and to claim myself a “victor” not a “victim” of one of life’s most difficult challenge.

Bobbi lives in Pleasant Gap, PA, with her beloved husband, Dave. Together they enjoy four children and nine grandchildren. Bobbi and Dave share a clown/music ministry spreading the Word of God through song, mime and clowning. Bobbi and Dave are retired and are enjoying their “golden” times together. They are members of “Happy Valley Alley” clown organization in State College. Dave is also director of the Paul Carney Banjo Band in State College.

A Sprinkle of FUN from the Author…

Martha’s Way or My Way…

Martha’s Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My Way: Buy Instant Mashed Potatoes. They’ll keep it in the pantry for well over a year.