Читать книгу The Interpersonal Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 31

Through interpersonal communication, we are able to begin and sustain relationships. Our interpersonal contacts meet our social needs to varying degrees. Although we vary greatly in the extent to which we experience these needs, according to psychologist William Schutz, our relationships reflect the following in particular:

 Our need for affection—to express or receive fondness

 Our need for inclusion—to be included or include others as full partners

 Our need for control—to direct or exert influence over the self and others so that we feel we are able to deal with and manage our lives and environment.¹⁰

When we are in a relationship with someone whose needs complement or balance our own, each of us is able to have our needs met. When our needs are not complementary, however, we are more apt to experience relationship struggles or conflict. Do your experiences confirm this? (We explore the work of William Schutz in more depth in Chapter 12.)

Have you ever felt isolated when in a crowd?

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Good interpersonal communication also allows us a glimpse into another person’s reality. For example, developing an interpersonal relationship with someone whose culture differs from our own broadens our point of view. Our interpersonal styles may differ, but we adapt to the sound, form, and content of their messages and pay attention to how members of different cultures feel about displaying affection, exerting control, defining roles, and meeting goals. While it may be easier to identify with and associate with those who are like us, coming from different cultures does not preclude our learning to share similar meanings.

Interpersonal communication similarly fulfills our need to be friended and to friend others. It helps alleviate feelings of isolation, fulfilling our desire to feel needed, loved, wanted, and capable. Because of this, interpersonal communication may increase our personal satisfaction, helping us feel more positive about ourselves.