Читать книгу Cathy Glass 3-Book Self-Help Collection - Cathy Glass, Cathy Glass - Страница 48

While it is all right for your child to make comparisons between you and other parents, don’t be tempted yourself to make comparisons between your child and other children. It will undermine your child’s confidence and build up resentment. ‘Why can’t you be like Simon? He is always so polite’ is an absolute no no, and also probably untrue: Simon may be ultra polite with you (children usually are with their friends’ parents), but it could be a very different story at home. Or ‘Aran does his piano practice every evening without being asked.’ Maybe, or more likely that’s what his mother has told you. Or ‘Suneetha likes to wear the pretty dresses her mother buys her. Why don’t you, Claire, instead of those jeans?’ Or ‘I’m sure Lisa wouldn’t speak to her mother like that!’ etc. It’s OK for your child to make comparisons, and you may find yourself comparing your child unfavourably, particularly on a bad day, but don’t ever voice your thoughts. Apart from making your child feel resentful, to do so will give him or her the message that you undervalue what he or she does do right, which will be a lot of things.

Likewise, don’t mention other children’s exam or test results, or dwell on their achievements – ‘Jasmine did so well getting her grade five in ballet’ or ‘I hear Sanjith is top of the class again.’ Pointing out excellence when your child may be struggling will undermine your child’s confidence and make him or her less likely to try new activities and skills. Praise your child for what he or she has achieved, even if it falls a long way short of what others have achieved and what you aspire to for your child. Your child has tried his or her best, and remember children shine in different ways.