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There is a growing feeling in most Western societies that, with each new generation, children are becoming increasingly self-centred, demanding and out of control, and that we are heading for disaster. The current generation is often depicted as being rich in material comforts but deficient in empathy and respect for others, including their parents. Criminal damage by minors is on the increase, with the age of the offenders getting younger – in 2006, 3,000 children in the UK below the age of ten were ‘arrested’ for serious offences.

Post-war liberal parenting – where parents have been encouraged to take their cues from the child as the child knew best, and discipline was a dirty word – is often held responsible for this deterioration. Although no one would want to return to the Victorian ‘children should be seen and not heard’ dictum, without doubt many parents are now suffering from the effect of a too liberal style of child rearing, which had few boundaries and left the parents feeling guilty for correcting their child. As parents we naturally want to do our best for our children and follow professional advice. It is only with hindsight that we can view our oversights and mistakes.

Although you can’t turn back the clock and make your child a baby and start all over again physically, you can change unacceptable behaviour – by setting clear and consistent boundaries, using the 3Rs. Many of the children I have fostered have come to me with appalling behaviour and I have successfully wiped clean the slate and started again. Even if your child is not completely out of control but there is a lot of room for improvement, this chapter is for you.