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There are an incredible number of opportunities for children in modern-day affluent societies to learn all manner of skills and indulge in many hobbies – ballet, football, gym, ice-skating, piano, violin lessons, etc. But sometimes parents, wanting their children to be accomplished, sign them up for a ridiculously high number of activities, as well as expecting them to achieve academically. It is often the professional middle classes (with the income) who turn their children into performing seals, ferrying them every evening from one club or activity to another, with barely a breathing space in between.

I’m not saying ballet or piano lessons are going to turn your child into a juvenile delinquent, but make sure you don’t overload your child and have unattainably high goals. Clubs and activities should be fun for your child, and for your child’s personal accomplishment and pleasure, not a merit badge for you to pin to your coat to show others.

One close friend of mine, who had waited a long time to have her child, did what she thought was best by enrolling her daughter in virtually everything that was available from a very early age. As soon as the child could walk she was attending tumble tots, ballet, gym, swimming and trampoline classes, and by the time she had started school, piano, violin and trumpet lessons had been added, tucked in between various clubs and after-school activities, and home tuition in English, French and Maths. My friend genuinely believed she was giving her daughter the best start in life by providing her with all the opportunities she herself hadn’t had as a child. Rewards were given as incentives for obtaining grades and badges and passing exams; and the pressure on the child, while not obvious at the time, must have been enormous.

I remember feeling something of a failure for not providing my children with all the opportunities my friend’s daughter had, but by the age of ten her daughter was becoming very difficult and challenging in her behaviour. By the age of fourteen she had completely rebelled and was doing anything and everything that would upset or hurt her mother. She refused to go to school, got into drugs, alcohol and under-age sex, and ultimately got into trouble with the police. Having spent years on overload and under pressure to fulfil her mother’s (too high) expectations, she’d been set up for failure, as well as having had no time to simply be a child and explore her own identity. Sadly at the age of sixteen she became pregnant, and her poor mother, having hoped for so much, was left with nothing but to try to pick up the pieces and support her daughter as best she could.