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Any sudden or dramatic change in your child’s behaviour should be a warning that something is wrong and you need to find out what. Here are some possibilities, although the list is by no means complete:

* imprisonment of a parent or family member

* remarriage and the introduction of a step-parent (see Chapter 7)

* hospitalisation of a parent, family member or friend

* pressure from parents, siblings, school or peers

* bullying

* friendship fallouts

* starting school or nursery

* illness in the child or family

* watching challenging behaviour on television – often in children’s programmes

* puberty

* menstruation

* prescribed medication

* alcohol or drug abuse (see Chapter 9)

* lack of confidence

* depression

It is essential you take whatever time is necessary to find the cause of your child’s problem; then talk about it, be supportive and understanding, and give plenty of reassurance. But remember that whatever the reason, it is not an excuse for unacceptable or rude behaviour; it won’t help solve the problem or crisis, and will result in you both feeling upset, angry and frustrated. Keep in place the routine and boundaries as you work through any crisis together.