Читать книгу Dealing with Difficult People - David Brown, David Brown - Страница 14

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the capacity to recognize our own feelings and those of others, and to manage our own emotions and the emotions of others with whom we have relationships. We are born with EI, but it can be developed further.

There are five core emotions – fear, anger, sadness, joy and disgust. Emotions are usually at the root of difficult behaviour, and you are likely to meet them with an emotional reaction yourself. If you are emotionally intelligent, though, you will manage your own emotions and take into account other people’s needs and concerns.

case study The MD of a fork-lift truck distributor had a management team of five. He was autocratic, aggressive and obstinate, yet also direct, organized and financially astute. Sadly, he never learned from his experiences because he had a fixed view of his own capability and how his team should be handled. He always behaved the same way and he always got the

Here are five key points to help develop your emotional intelligence:

• Be self aware. Know your values, ambitions, preferences, intuitions and confidence levels. Know how you will respond to pressure.

• Regulate yourself. Manage your disruptive emotions, maintain your standards of integrity, be flexible in handling change, take responsibility for your performance and be comfortable with new ideas.

• Manage your motivation. Align yourself with the goals of your team and organization; overcome obstacles to your goals.

• Display empathy. Be sensitive to other people’s feelings. Recognize the need for diverse talents. Be aware of the emotional tide within a group, and understand where the power lies. Know how others perceive you.

• Have social skills. Use the right tactics to persuade; agree collective goals; listen before you lead. Inspire others with your judgement, communication, collaboration and management of change. Provide feedback to suit the situation.

This is a taste of EI, and a formidable list of competencies. Why is this important to you as you deal with difficult people? Quite simply, if emotions such as anxiety and anger are not addressed in your quest for performance, you and those around you will not perform well.

How well do you manage your own emotions and the emotions of others?

same results – including a frustrated team that could not stand up to him. He nagged them rather than coached them. He didn’t develop, his frustrated people didn’t grow and the business had to be rescued. If he had developed his emotional intelligence and adapted his behaviour to suit each situation, he would have discovered that ‘soft’ skills deliver ‘hard’ results.