Читать книгу Sex For Dummies - Pierre Lehu A., Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Страница 133

Having children is supposed to be a sign of commitment, but you can’t count on that, at least not anymore. With the example of so many single parents, especially single mothers, raising children on their own, couples just don’t look at children as reason enough to stay together any longer. I don’t think that having children is right if you don’t at least think of yourselves as a committed couple, but, sadly, too many people disagree with me. I say “sadly” not because they disagree with me, but because of what the situation can do to the children.

Children are much better off growing up with two parents living under the same roof. Some people dispute that, but they’ll never convince me. Now, that doesn’t mean that I never advise a man or a woman to split from their spouse when children are involved, because I do. If two people are really incompatible, if they’re fighting all the time, and maybe even taking their unhappiness out on the children, then divorce is the best recourse. But divorce is not a win-win situation. The situation may be better for everyone concerned after the divorce, but the end result still can’t compare to a whole, functional family.

Never having had a father or a mother around is one thing. But if a child has two parents who suddenly split up, the separation is bound to affect the child. The children may blame themselves for the divorce. They shouldn’t feel guilty because rarely do the kids cause the split, but no matter how much you tell them that they aren’t the reason for the breakup, they won’t believe it. Even if they accept the fact that they didn’t do anything to cause the divorce, they’ll still think that they could have done something to stop it.