Читать книгу Sex For Dummies - Pierre Lehu A., Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Страница 140

What ruins the intimacy between a husband and wife is when they play games with each other, which means when they keep score.

 He did that, so I won’t do this.

 She didn’t let me do this, so I won’t let her do that.

 Last year we didn’t go to the dance, so I won’t go to his family picnic.

Every time you look up at that scoreboard, you destroy a piece of your marriage. You aren’t supposed to be on different teams; you’re supposed to be on the same team. Remember, if one of you wins and the other loses, the relationship always loses!

Now, even teammates squabble. Perfect marriages don’t exist; things will go wrong, and you’ll have your ups and downs. But if your goal is to be perfectly intimate, to be as close to each other as possible, then you’ll work those problems out and continue to make progress. If you stop thinking that way — if you start believing that your relationship is a competition — then very soon it will become one, and it will cease to be a marriage.

You can find no better feeling in the world than being one with the person you love. During sex, the intensity of that oneness can be terrific, but that feeling is also a source of strength and comfort 24 hours a day. Work toward having the kind of marriage where you really do feel that you’re in this life together. You won’t regret it, I promise you.

And if your sex life isn’t what it should be, or what you’d like it to be, then I suggest you devote some time to reading Chapter 14 on how to spice up your love life.