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CHAPTER 1 What is Self-esteem?
ОглавлениеIn my search for the perfect definition of self-esteem, I have found literally hundreds of different views and descriptions. My head began to reel as I tried to face the task of summarizing all these in a couple of neat paragraphs. Perhaps largely to protect my own mental health, I therefore decided to do something different.
I thought that I would start from the perspective of my own personal experience. After all, as I indicated in the Introduction, I have much more than an academic interest in this subject. Self-esteem-building is still very much part of my own personal as well as professional life.
When I began to reflect on my own experience, I began to think that one of the reasons why there are so many variations in the definition of self-esteem is that it is essentially a ‘state of being’. To make the scene even more complicated, it seems that when we experience our self-esteem, a whole chain of mini-happenings take place. Sometimes it seems these can all take place in the flash of an instant, but at other times they may slowly develop step by step over a much longer period of time.
Self-esteem is a dynamic, subjective event rather than any static, tangible ‘thing’ that can be directly and easily observed and measured. |
I form a belief – either consciously or unconsciously – that I am OK human being …
I begin to feel pleasant physical sensations of warmth, relaxation and vitality …
In my mind I make specific appreciations about my value, e.g. I look attractive – I am strong – I am clever …
I form positive value judgements and beliefs about myself and my potential, e.g. I deserve to be happy – have my needs met – be liked and loved by other people …
I experience a sense of increased confidence and optimism …
I feel a sense of trust in the world and people around me …
I form the belief that the world can and is highly likely to be able to meet my needs and wants …
I feel the energy levels in my body begin to rise …
I experience my mind becoming more lively and beginning to fill with ideas …
I begin to take positive action to get my needs and wants met …
I feel a sense of pride and satisfaction and happiness as I experience my needs and wants being met …
I form the belief that I have the power to make myself happy and successful whenever I choose to do so …
I begin to feel my mind working creatively on ways to overcome any challenging obstacles which stand in the way of my path to success and happiness …
I feel my body energized by the excitement of this challenge …
I get into action again …
I judge my actions to be successful …
And then, I begin to experience even more forcibly, the self-esteem ‘happening’ all over again … and again!
High Self-esteem Experience