Читать книгу CONFESSIONS OF A CORPORATE SHAMAN - Harrison Snow - Страница 17

The use of self model described above came out of my own phenomenological experiences. I’ve worked with hundreds of teams since 1988; some of the engagements lasted several years, but most were a few weeks or months long. Looking back I wonder why it took so long for me to see this use of self. It might not have been noticeable to others, but it was noticeable to me that my insecurities, hiding comfortably in the shadow of the subconscious, habitually showed up in certain group settings. I kept reliving the same reality until I took responsibility for and addressed those insecurities. Taking responsibility enables “your ability to respond.” Letting go of perfectionism and acknowledging the limits of one’s ability is the essence of an empowered humility. Shortcomings, like stray cats, are bound to show up, so it’s best to treat those parts of one’s own self with compassion. Your sense of purpose may come from the early, often difficult, experiences that shaped who you are. According to the myth of the hero’s journey, your wounds determine your gifts.¹

Not so long ago I was working with an organization that seemed hyper-dysfunctional. They were in the middle of planning and launching a national program that was focused on improving public health in a critical area. The manager was capable and smart but had numerous constraints to deal with. It did not seem they could, as a group, get anything done. The night before our retreat I checked into the conference center after a long drive. I must have given the desk clerk the impression I could not do anything right either. Scattered and disorganized, I rummaged around for my passport and credit card and then went through the same routine again as I tried to exchange some dollars for the local currency.

Reviewing the agenda that night I wondered how anything productive could come of the meeting if both the facilitator and the group were gripped by this scattered incompetence. Failure seemed inevitable. Were these dark feelings and thoughts connected to something in my past? I remembered years earlier, as a new lieutenant in the military, how overwhelmed and underprepared I felt. As a novice leader I made plenty of mistakes, eventually gaining the confidence and leadership skills needed to be effective. In my own family I was sure my father and grandfathers had similar moments of self-doubt and setbacks. Even though they were all deceased, silently I asked for their blessings.

Thinking about the people who would be attending the retreat, clearly I was no better or worse than them. We were all in this together and if we shared a problem we also shared the solution. As I went through these inner acknowledgments and movements, the nagging “sense of gloom caused by an impending sense of doom” started to ease. My mood lightened and a restful night followed. The next morning I felt ready to face a hundred or so disorganized participants.

Surprisingly, instead of chaos the group exhibited a fair degree of coherence and order. During our discussions and activities, themes emerged that were positive and solution focused. Reconnecting with my own sense of competence seemed to hold the space for the group to reconnect with theirs. This parallel process of working with your client by working first with yourself suggests a subtle link between personal and group effectiveness. To be effective at the organizational level, it is best to stay one step ahead on the personal level. Rapid results by the group depend to some extent on rapid learning through self-inquiry by the facilitator or leader.