Читать книгу CONFESSIONS OF A CORPORATE SHAMAN - Harrison Snow - Страница 22

Psychotherapist Virginia Satir developed some of the basic concepts for family systems therapy. One of Satir’s principles is, “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”⁷ Until we define and affirm our own core self, we may tend to be overly influenced by others, vainly trying to please everyone but ourselves. Lord Tennyson, the poet laureate of Great Britain and Ireland during Queen Victoria’s reign, described in a letter how he tapped into his creative spirit by affirming his sense of self. “This (state) has often come upon me through repeating my own name to myself silently, till, all at once out of the intensity and conscious of the individuality, the individuality itself seems to dissolve and fade away into boundless being . . .“⁸

Tennyson was on to something that relates to the concept of “kenosis,” a word from ancient Greece used by early Christians to connote the emptying of the self. A more modern phrasing is to “get out of your own way.”

Getting out of your own way occurs when you let go of the hyper-mental state called being too self-consciousness. This inner movement enables you to respond to the needs of the moment with an emergent knowing. Paradoxically, this getting your “finite self” out of the way starts with a healthy sense of one’s individual existence. Vedic masters, like Sri Ramana Maharshi, believed focusing on the felt-sense of “I am” was the gateway from individual to universal awareness. Whether or not you are a poet, a mystic, or a business leader, it is empowering to strengthen the internal sense of your own being. Personal empowerment requires a self to empower. The following exercise for self-strengthening comes from a workshop conducted by family therapist Skip Ellis.⁹

Place a hand on your chest. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Go within and find the felt-sense of your essence, however you experience it. Think or say quietly from that place deep within yourself:

I am

I exist—I exist for my own sake

You can add lines like the following:

I am enough—I am worthy—I matter—I have a place

I feel good about myself in the presence of others

I am in charge of my life

Smile to yourself and feel the essential essence of being you. Don’t worry if this exercise brings up some difficult feelings. Breaking the habit of looking to others for self-referral or validation might not be comfortable. It can take practice to locate that good feeling of being you just for yourself without relying on anyone or anything else. A resilient sense of self is the inner foundation to stand on when interacting with a challenging person or group. It is your home base when events threaten to throw you off balance.

A strong emotional reaction can cause you to lose your sense of self in the present moment. A simple practice of somatically checking in with your “self-essence” during the day strengthens your gravitas and “groundedness.” A healthy sense of self is the summation of who you are and what you stand for. It lies underneath the constant mind stream of random thoughts. This felt-sense is the mindfulness that gives you the wherewithal to resist peer pressure and “speak truth to power.” (This phrase is related to civil disobedience that may have come from the Quakers or the African-American community.) Even when interacting with strong personalities, you can stay connected to who you are and what you believe. This exercise is especially helpful for those who tend to focus all their energies externally on others. Saving some of that energy to focus on your inner self enables you to hold on to you while still extending yourself to others.