Читать книгу Grieving the Loss of a Loved One - Lorene Hanley Duquin - Страница 13

7. Why Do I Feel Like This?

No one ever told me that grief feels so like fear.…

The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep swallowing. At times it feels like being mildly drunk or concussed.

— C. S. Lewis

Grief is not an illness, but it can affect us physically. We may feel so fatigued that we border on the brink of exhaustion. We may complain about unusual aches in our muscles and joints. We may feel a tightness in our chests, a racing heart, or a lump in our throats. We may suffer from headaches and backaches. We may feel hot or cold.

Our breathing may change. Some of us will take shallow breaths. Some of us will unconsciously hold our breath. We may breathe too quickly, creating a feeling of faintness or dizziness. We may find that we are prone to deep sighs and yawning.

Because these physical symptoms of grief can weaken the immune system, we may be more prone to colds or infections. We may break out with a rash or realize that our hair is falling out.

Food can be a problem — we may eat too much or can’t bear to eat at all. We may be bothered by noise, but silence may also seem unbearable. We may be plagued with feelings of anxiety. We may find that we wrinkle our brow or clench our teeth without even realizing what we are doing. We may find ourselves trembling.

As incredible as it may seem, all of these physical symptoms are normal for a grieving person. It is the body’s physical response to the loss we have experienced. It is part of the pain we must experience as we adjust to life without our loved one.

The best advice is to be patient. Over time, the physical symptoms of grief should begin to diminish. If they persist at their original intensity, it is a good idea to see a doctor. In the meantime, turn to Jesus, who is the physician for our souls, and ask for his help and healing.

Prayer: Lord, have mercy on me. I am experiencing physical pain in response to the loss of my loved one. I believe that you have the power to comfort me, to console me, and to heal me. I beg you to touch my life with your healing love. Amen.

One of the best ways to manage the physical symptoms of grief is to turn our breathing into a prayer. Start by taking slow, deep breaths and imagine that you are breathing in God’s love. Then breathe out tension. Breathe in God’s love, and breathe out pain. Breathe in God’s love, and breathe out sadness. Breathe in God’s love, and breathe out anything that is bothersome or troubling.

The beauty of the breathing prayer is that it can be done anytime, in any place, and no one even knows that we are praying. It calms and comforts.