Читать книгу Stresshacking - Louise Lloyd - Страница 18

Let me just put this out there now – not all stress is bad. In fact, we actually like some of it because, as humans, we enjoy overcoming challenge. Stress is created when there is a gap between the challenge we face and our ability to meet it.

Positive stress is felt when there is a challenge that might take us out of our comfort zone but we have an overall sense that we will handle it. We recognize the gap and feel equipped to close it. We love working towards something and such challenges can be exciting and energizing. They give a sense of purpose in life and a reason to get out of bed. When we handle a challenge well, it gives us a sense of achievement. It builds our confidence to face future challenges; even spurring us on to seek them out.

Negative stress, on the other hand, is a sense of feeling overwhelmed with the challenge we face. It arises when we don’t feel equipped to close the gap and meet it. Money worries, unrealistic deadlines, impossible targets or relationship issues are all examples of things that might create negative stress. The effect of negative stress in our lives can be demotivating and exhausting, and it can diminish our confidence to face future challenges. Most importantly, it gets in the way of us being the amazing human beings that we can be.

Stress affects us all differently. It becomes apparent in the day-to-day choices we make; in our lack of patience; the way that we drive; and in the way we take our loved ones for granted. It shows in our aches and pains, our chronic ailments and our appetite. When we are stressed, an underlying tension sits under everything that we do, whether we see it or not.

Most people get stressed sometimes; it’s part of life. The problem arises when we aren’t equipping ourselves to meet our challenges. Stress can sneak up on us through the accumulative effect of the many small demands of daily life. Singularly, each of these demands would be no problem but when several begin to accumulate, they can tip us over the edge. It can be a blurred line between coping and not coping. As I am sure you can relate to, even when we recognize that we are stressed it can be tempting to ignore it. We are often too busy or too scared to delve into the real cause of stress and take the actions that would be required to address it. Dealing with the ongoing trickle of daily-life stress will help you to avoid reaching burnout or breakdown.

We will all face times where life will be extremely challenging, if not totally overwhelming. That’s being human. A bereavement, accident, divorce or moving house are all examples of situations that may overwhelm us. It’s what we do when we are stressed that will make the difference. Some people spend their whole lives either failing to recognize their own stress or trying to ignore it, numb it or mask it. Owning stress is the first step in addressing it. Life isn’t about being stress-free; it is about dealing with stress when it arises, in whichever form that is.

Remember that you are not your stress.

When we are stressed, we are not the people that we want to be. We can become narrow-minded, less generous and less loving. We might become miserable, dissatisfied and impatient. Often we are less creative, less focused and less productive. We know we are more than that. Nobody gets up in the morning intending to have a bad day. None of us set the intention to look for things to irritate or upset us. We don’t intend to pass our stress on to others or to ruin their day. It’s worth remembering that. Stress isn’t something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. It is something we should own and address. Stress is our call to action – to get whatever help we need to deal with the challenge that we face.

# The hack

Identify the cause of your stress. Is it acute stress from a specific situation? Is it the accumulation of the many demands of daily life? Or is it a mindset or belief like a lack of confidence? It might help to write it down. At the top of a piece of paper start with ‘I get stressed about…’ Just allow yourself to keep writing until you feel that you have emptied it all out onto the paper.