Читать книгу The chosen vessel. Fighting of the spirits - Miki Lazović - Страница 18

As if I came to another world. I was not welcomed by my close relatives at once. They were not accustomed to me and it seemed that I was unwelcome. I remembered my childhood. At that time, I constantly bothered them while crying because of a sick leg. And what now? I did not know the answer. Many times I wanted to return to my grandpa. I connected repeatedly to their minds to learn what they were thinking about. In their thoughts I found that they did not hate me, but I somehow prevented them. One could feel that my mother loved me more than all of them. I still continued to adapt and connect with the family. Everything was here different than by my grandparents. There I was single and here we were six. There were no peers in neighboring houses that were sufficiently removed, but here, in our house and in the homes of our relatives and neighbors there were children with whom I could find much synergy. I didn’t know the games they were playing. Usually I was called to play football, but since I was not a good player they put me stand in the gateway. They did not know about my abilities and I directed my influence on the opponent’s players forcing him to send the ball to the side I chose. So, I could easily protect the gate. Quickly I became a very popular goalkeeper.

So, these school holidays ended. The grandfather gave my mother enough money to buy everything necessary for the school, but she carefully distributed money and bought clothes and shoes for everyone in the family.

A new academic year has started. Good heavens! How many pupils there were in one place! In my school, there were only sixty – four students and here – more than a thousand pupils. I studied at the secondary economic school “Mileva Vukovich” in the town of Pecs. The children of different ethnic groups studied here together but at my grandfather’s place there were only Montenegrins. The first day passed without incident and in the next day classes were formed. There were thirty – three boys and girls in my class. There were Serbs, Montenegrins, Muslims, Croats and Gypsies. In other classes Albanians and Gypsies were trained in the Albanian language. All this was new for me and due to this everything was interesting. There were a lot of girls of my age. Everyone was beautiful in their own way. New, unknown feelings opened up in my soul. I was modest, but noticed that it’s nice to be friends with girls from my or other classes. I did not know how to behave with them, but they themselves wanted to be friends with me. Never before I fell in love, but now this feeling has taken possession of me. All were my friends and I loved them in a friendly way. I was ashamed to ask any of them if she wants to become my girl. Probably they were in the same situation. So, passed the days and at one time Tanya, the girl with whom I was most friends, asked:

“Miki, may I sincerely ask you something?”

“Tanya, of course you can ask.”

“Can you really tell if you like Bilja?”

It seemed that my heart was beating in my throat. I was afraid to let slip. I felt like a fish thrown ashore. How she could feel that I like this girl most of all. My lips were sealed, but she understood it in her own way:

“Miki, if you do not like her you can openly tell me about it, and I’ll tell her.”

“No, Tanya, I think very highly of she, but this question is unexpected for me.”

“Miki, I talked to her about you. She said that she likes you and she is well disposed towards you. “

Again, my heart began beating like mad.

“Make approaches her and she will want to be friends with you.”

I lowered my head and mulled over in panic.

“Miki, what are you thinking?” Tell me honestly if you do not like her.”

“That’s not the point, Tanya. I swear that I like her.”

“Why do you not court to her?”

“Tanya, I would court, but I do not know how to do it. I never courted and no one taught me how to do it. “

She laughed heartily. And I felt myself uncomfortable while she continued to laugh. Then she raised herself on tiptoes, hugged and gave a kiss on my cheek.

“My dear friend, you do not know how to court, but they say that you are frozen up.”

I was surprised. Who dared to say that?

“For the first time, the most girls were very nice to you, but when there was no attention, not a single good word from you, they retreated and began to say that you are impregnable. None of them knew that you could not court” – she laughed again.

“It’s easy for you to laugh, because you do not think what I feel!”

“Miki, it’s that simple. Just tell her: Bilja, may I ask you something? She will tell you – ask or of course. Then you tell her: I can tell you that you are a very beautiful girl and I like you at first sight. I would be very happy if you agree to become my girlfriend. She will agree and then you will meet and walk together.”

I did not believe my ears. Is it possible that one has to say only a few such words? I decided to try these beautiful words right away. I came up to Bilja and repeated word for word as Tanya had said. She agreed confirming with a trembling voice. We began to meet. I do not know how it was for her, but for me it was very cool and I kept thinking about her every time. We went together everywhere. We laughed and rejoiced at everything that surrounds us. A couple of days later Tanya came up to me and reproached me:

“Miki, I see how you pull together and love each other. I see that you are always together and happy, but I’ve noticed that you never hug or kiss her.”

She brought me to a stand again:

“Tanya, believe me, I did not know that this should be done, although I wanted to do it many times.”

She laughed again. After her advice, I embraced and kissed Bilja many times. This, obviously, irritated those who liked her. One day a guy from a parallel class came up to me. I was little acquainted with him:

“Hey, who are you?”

In the brain I felt the signals that until this moment were unknown to me. The impulse of danger signalized to me as if someone pressed the button of a siren. I felt that behind me appeared four more people. I had a premonition in my brain that they were going to beat me, but I had not fought anyone in my life yet.

“You’ve stolen the girlfriend of my best friend and now you’re walking around with her at school!”

“ Do you hear, buddy, I did not cut out anyone with his girl,” – I tried to explain seeing that all the explanations would be in vain and they intended to force me into a fight.

They counted on a numerical advantage and that’s why they had confidence in themselves. Bilja ran to me and stood between us.

“Listen, you scoundrel! – She bawled out to someone behind of my back. – You think you could me force to meet with you? It is not happening! What is he guilty of? Do you want to beat him because he is better than you? You lionize yourself, you knocked the strongest gang together in school and you think you can do what you want now!”

This guy, behind my back, grabbed her hand and started to laugh.

“Now you will see, babe, what will happen to your lover – boy. He will beg you to leave him and walk with me, when we give the stick.”

I saw a huge mass of students who surrounded us and waited for what would happen next. Many had fear in their eyes. From somewhere appeared another trio and took the side of my opponents. I was alone against everyone. And then, somewhere between these students, I saw my grandfather. His words sounded clearly in my brain. “Do not be afraid, no one can do anything to you. Use consciousness and let everything look as if you are fighting with them and I will be with you and hold this fight.”

He disappeared. Bilja tried to slap someone who held her hand. But he turned her hand and she cried out in pain. It became a sign to begin the shoot – out. The guy standing in front of me swung to hit me in the face and the others moved to my back. I stepped aside and do not know how I pushed him away from me. The encounter with his friends standing behind me was very strong. He and two others fell to the ground, seriously damaged. The other four surrounded me while their leader continued to join hands with Bilja, who wanted to help me. He turned his hand even harder and she screamed again. Now I had to help her. I sent consciousness to the opponents to the left and right of me and ordered to attack me. They moved. The both swung with a force. It looked like I was gone, my body suddenly appeared on the ground, and they collided with each other, as if they were the worst enemies. They stopped as if dumbfounded and then, under my influence on the mind, they started beating each other. I left the sphere of their interest. Then the remaining two have engaged. They saw that they could lose the battle and one of them pulled out a knife and the second the chain. The ringleader pushed Bilja to the ground. Some of her friends including Tanya hurried to help her. Then the leader moved to help his friends. He shouted at the two of them who was beating each other, but they did not listen to him. Also, they could not do it, because I controlled their consciousness. The three who first fell, were now ready to continue the fight. There were six of them against me. Their leader ducked his head, raised shoulders and ripped towards me. I had to hit him. Otherwise he could bump my stomach. My fist hit him on the shoulder. His legs seemed to have refused him. He plummeted to the dust of the yard. It seemed like a flip.

“Slaughter an idiot!” One of the guys shouted and moved towards me with a chain. The same did another one who had a knife in his hands. He was closer to me. He swung to my stomach. I do not know how, but my left hand blocked his blow, and the right hand knocked him on the clenched fist with a knife. The knife flew out of his hand and plunged into the thigh of another opponent. Because of the acute pain he released a chain, which he swung at me. The impact on consciousness played its role and the chain flew a few centimeters from me. On the way, it struck the three remaining enemies with all its force. The first one got nailed in the face and the other two in their chests. The silence was broken only by the groans of the attacker, whom the chain struck the face and the opponent with a knife in the thigh. All the others were silent without believing in what had happened. I walked over to Bilja and wrapped my arms around her tenderly. There was a stir in the crowd and in the circle, formed by the pupils of the school, came in the director and two teachers. The teachers went to the students who were injured and the director shouted:

“Who does organize this massacre with these unfortunate students of the school?”

All eyes went to me and Bilja. The director grabbed my elbow, started shaking and shouting:

“One would send to prison for this. With knife and chain you’ve crippled so many students! “

I disengaged my hand. And other teachers came to see what was happened. None of them could believe that eight bandits attacked me. Therefore, I sought help from witnesses who saw all:

“First ask the witnesses who attacked whom and who had the knife and chain, and then grab the hand.”

The director was startled by my insolence, and then my words reached his consciousness. Unbelief was visible on the faces of those present. First, no one believed that I would answer the director in such a manner and he could not believe how I did it all myself. To regain his fallen authority, he raised his hand with his index finger and shouted:

“Let them all say that they attacked you, but you did not dare to use knife and chain. For this I will now kick you out of school and the police already knows about the fight that has taken place. “

He turned to the students and asked:

“Who did attack whom?”

The crowd answered:

“They’re at him!”

“Who did attack with chain and knife?”

“They attacked, and he only defended himself” – there were even more loudly cries from the crowd of students.

The sound of a police siren was heard. The students broke apart. The car stopped in front of us. The police officers looked around, looking for someone to be arrested. They Saw me and Bilja before the director and other students who pretended and groaned in pain to stir to pity. And they decided that I used a knife and chain and moved towards me. The director stopped them and explained that they attacked me using knife and chain as a weapon, and I only defended myself. A stupid expression on their faces showed distrust. One of the policemen proclaimed that the use of martial arts is prohibited by law. To defeat eight peers who were using knife and chain one must be a master in any of the martial arts. They pressed forward to me again. I had to react immediately:

“I have no belt and I am not a master in any fight. Director, am I here accused party or person defending against eight attackers? Look how many witnesses are on my side?”

A number of the students began to chatter loudly again. Bucked by the defeat of the abusers, many students began to blame them and confessed that they were treaded under foot. The police called for an ambulance. Students, realizing that they would not see anything interesting, went to their classes. After a couple of days, the perpetrators were punished. The two guys, who used knife and chain, were expelled from school. The so – called leader of the gang was punished with the last warning before being expelled from the school and the other hooligans received a simple warning. Soon this event began to fade from memory. There were still some fights, but nobody else touched me. I continued to meet with Bilja. We were at ease together. However, because of her, I blew off my studies and everything else.

These days, when everything was not important to me and my thoughts were occupied only by Bilja, my mother said that tomorrow we must leave. Stan’s grandmother departed out of this world. A person cannot immediately accept many things. They seem unreal to him. So, it seemed to me that this news was impossible. I could not believe it at all. How could Grandfather allow it? I asked myself questions, as if the grandfather’s hands could decide about life and death. That night I could not fall asleep. As the old people say, “not sleep a wink.” In the morning we went to the village where I spent my childhood. After the funeral of my father I did not attend such events. It was hard for me. I remembered how she loved me and how she cared of me. I remember the song she was singing for me:

And now, like once, when I was little boy and heard this song for the first time, I wept bitterly. Her melodious speech recurred to me and tears streamed down my face. Everyone came up to console me. Grandfather came up and embraced me with his warm hands. Then I calmed down a little. All my sorrow, pain and suffering resulted in a few words, one question that I asked him:

“Grandpa, why did you not help her to live?”

He embraced me again and I felt his body shake:

“Sonny, do you think that I didn’t do this? I can help anyone to whom the Lord gives to live, but I cannot help myself or anyone, if his life comes to an end by the will of God. Let God take her to His paradise. You cannot resist the fate and will of God. What must be, will be While God destine then you’ll die. Sonny, this is the rest of the body. You will see it in the notebooks that you will receive after my death, everything is described there and then it’ll be black and white for you.”

It’s been said that one lives and learns and I also got another life lesson at her funeral. I realized that we, the Elects, although we have tremendous power in relation to the rest of humanity, are ordinary mortals, like the whole world. This thought did not please me. Then my grandfather reassured me with the words:

“Sonny, it’s all according to God’s will and we must obey it. You must remember forever that you do not dare to lose heart, you should be proud that you are God’s chosen.”

These words fell on my soul like a balm and later I always remembered them when it was hard for me. He always knew how to cheer up and not lose heart. As the popular saying goes: “A fun heart spins yarn.” From that day on I adopted this principle of life. Always be cheerful and calm. Thus, it was possible to cheer up the most saddened people, set patient’s mind at rest and melt any pain. This lesson I received at my grandmother’s funeral.

We returned from the funeral. I was tortured for several days and then I continued the studies. I'd gotten a number of bad marks. I was sure that I could easily correct them, but they followed one after another. At the end of the half – year I had already eight bad marks. They did not bother me. It was more important to me that I was at odd with Bilja and I think about her ceaselessly. I was in love with her and she had all the good marks. At the beginning of the second half of the year Tanya came up to talk to me:

“Miki, Bilja does not know what to do. Many times, when I was with her, I saw how she was crying.”

“What? What happens to her, what would I not know?” – I asked Tanya.

“You see, Miki, she and I are best friends and we are talking a lot. You are always the topic of our conversations. When you protected her from these bandits, she fell in love with you. The more time passed, the less attention you paid to her. Sometimes you hug and kiss her and that’s all. She expected much more from you. And because of this she cried many times.”

And this time, as when I heard about my grandmother’s death for the first time, my mind did not want to understand such kind of the words, but Tanya continued.

“Recently, her life increases in hardship, because her parents learned about your relationship.”

Again, I felt my heart begin to beat. Exactly how and when we just started to be friends.

“They want stop our meetings. At the beginning Bilja could fight off very good, but recently, when it became known about your bad marks, she was constantly reproached. What happens if you stay in a form for a second year? They doubt that you’ll pass the class. Maybe it’ll be with minimal success. How could you continue studying with such grades? They are right in some way. Looking logically, your parents are not so rich to pay for your further studies.”

Her every word pierced my heart like a needle. Is it possible that I deserve such words? Is it true that she wants more love from me? There are a kiss, a hug and nothing more. What more does she want from me? I gave her my heart and every trembling of the body. Indeed, we lived hard, but I did not deserve such words and insults from her side. For a second, everything boiled in me. I wanted to answer all the grievances. I wanted to influence over her, so that she would confess to everyone that she loves me and must part with me only at the behest of my parents. In this fury I wanted to say a lot more, but remembered the grandfather’s words and immediately calmed down. Only a barely audible I whispered:

“Tanya, if I need to part with her, I’d like to hear it from her.”

“We got together on a point, Miki. Don’t get offended for telling you all this. “

“It’s all right. You’re still my friend.”

She left, and everything was running through my head. I was angry and calmed down again. This embarrassment continued several days. If she or her relatives talk in such a manner about me and my family, then none of them I need – so I thought angrily and immediately found an excuse for everything. They may have been right and they have a right to do so because my family was really not rich enough to pay for my studies at the faculty. Hundred times I accused them and so much justified. When Bilja came and confirmed Tanya’s words, I was on the brink of tears. I wanted to say that I love her. I wanted to beg her to stay with me and forgive all my sins. I wanted to do so, but I couldn’t even move. I watched her as she approached me with her smooth gait. She stopped in front of me. Coldly and prudently she began to explain:“Did Tanya explain to you the reason of my disfavor?”

“Yes, she did. I just want to hear the confirmation of these words from your lips.”

“We are the best friends, so all that she tells you is as if I speak to you.”

“All right, Bilja. You needn’t to repeat anything more. I wish you good luck and would to God that all future guys would love you more than I do. I think my love for you knows no bounds. “

“And I wish you happiness and I’d like you correct all the bad marks. I understand that your wish will materialize before mine. It is necessary to work seriously to carry out my desire, but to realize your wish is not needed nothing, because it’s easy getting to like me,” – she said, laughed and went away.

I posed the question for myself: “How could I so sincerely love her without knowing her at all?”

Then I decided to revenge on her for the insolence. I could never say such words to her. I will prove to her that she is mistaken.

Five or six days later I volunteered to correct the first failing grade. The teacher asked me within the lesson. The bell sounded. She noticed that I had already learned enough and she could put me three for these displayed knowledge. I did not agree and asked to continue survey during the next lesson the so that I could get a five. She laughed together with the whole class.

“To get a top five on my subject you need to know the whole program, not just the last two topics.”

“Teacher, remember you and all the others, now I will get only five and in those subjects for which I have failing grades I will go to the interschool Olympiad at the end of the year. I want to represent our school in eight subjects and get eight gold medals.”

The class laughed at my words and the teacher said in a dissatisfied tone:

“Okay, let’s see what will happen next lesson. You’ve prepare well and if you do not know anything, you will not be able to answer until the end of the year and at the end you will get failing grade.”

“I agree,” I replied.

The next lesson was devoted only to me. She asked all the possible questions that came to her mind from what we had already been through. And each question I answered.

“I’m lost for words. I am just knocked speechless!” – she said after all the questions and answers. – No one pupil did show me such a knowledge. If there was a ten of grades in a high school, then I would put it to you right away. You’ve earned a top five, I put it and congratulate you! “

She stood up, came up to my desk, and stretched hand to me. Some pupils dared and clapped hands several times. Then she began to applaud too and all students of our class joined to it.

The next day I volunteered to correct the second failing grade. It was the lesson of chemistry. And there was the most dangerous teacher in our school. They say that he once said that there is no student who can get a real 3 because chemistry is full of formulas and there is no one who could remember all of these formulas. And he began to ask me at the end of the lesson. The bell rang. He was satisfied with my knowledge and said:

“Miki, I’m pleased with your answer and I’m ready to give you a third.”

“Teacher, I would be pleased with such a gift if I did not know the answer to the questions, but I do not like when I get gifts and I do not agree to get this third. I will be glad to get a five, but only when it will not be presented.”

He slammed the records with all his might:

“Let’s see, the hero. Let’s look at the next lesson.”

He entered the teacher’s room angrily and started to shout from the door:

“Colleagues, for the first time one of the students could make me flare up. Of course, he had lessons perfect, nothing to say, but when I wanted to give him a third, this smarty pants declared that he wants to say the next lesson e for the fifth” – he shouted and slapped his palm against the palm.

All in attendance kept silence, only the teacher, who gave me a five already, laughed. Everyone turned to her.

“Colleague, are you probably talking about Miki?”

He was completely at a loss:

“How do you know….?

“He answered my questions at the lesson yesterday. Do you know what he said to me?” Everyone looked at her without saying a word. “He wants to represent our school at the inter – school Olympiad in all eight subjects of which he had failing grades in the last half – year”.