Читать книгу Ten Times Happier - Owen O’Kane - Страница 8

I want to start with some questions, and the reason for this is that they may link closely with your past. It’s important to understand that. Take a little time to ponder these statements and ask yourself if any of them resonate with you:

• I often have thoughts that are self-critical, self-judgemental or self-deprecating. I’m hard on myself

• I avoid taking risks

• I worry a lot

• I find it hard to like myself

• I soothe my emotions with drink, drugs, shopping, gambling or sex

• I ruminate on the past a lot

• I feel flat and lack motivation

• I feel stuck

• I avoid people, places or new situations

• I get angry quickly

• I worry I’m repeating negative patterns I’ve witnessed

• I compare my life to those of others

• I seek validation and reassurance from others

• I feel dissatisfied with my life

• I get overwhelmed sometimes.

If one or all of these statements ring a bell with you, then welcome to your humanity. All of the above are likely closely linked with experiences or learnings from your past so this chapter will have something to say to you.

Most people are struggling with something, but they tend not to share it on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. I encourage you when reading this book to be mindful that you are in good company, with many readers (and the writer) tuned in to your struggle. As the old saying goes, ‘We are all in the same boat.’ I’m simply offering some oars, life jackets, and a few flares to get you on your way.

The problem with the past is that it lays the foundations for some challenging behaviours or unhelpful patterns that you might have developed in your current life. Most of the negative thoughts and emotions we experience – anxiety, depression, anger, addiction or hopelessness – can be linked to past experiences. The past is often what keeps current negative patterns alive. The two areas of the past that I witness people struggle with most are:

1. Unhelpful rules or beliefs that they have learnt or inherited

2. Negative or traumatic experiences.

I will tackle these separately as they both require individual attention.